I STILL Hate Everything About You!
by Hisa-Me Kurai
Summary: Sequel to 'I Hate Everything About You, But WE Just LOVE YOU' The evil remote has been repaired and this time, our favorite animanga hater and her friends have launched themselves into Gundam Wing! Will the Gboys Have anymore success than the Narutachi?
1. You Did WHAT! SUO, YOU IDIOT!

(A/N: Hey all! Your lovely authoress Shinigami Goumon here! Back from Sakura-Con and full of ideas! So now, without further adieu, here it is! The sequel to I Hate Everything About You, But WE Just LOVE You!)

* * *

It had been a month since the incident.

All had been calm since then.

Kakyoin Akane's violent outbursts had quelled to a significant degree.

Her hair had grown to the small of her back (she looks like the female Tsuzuki from Yami no Matsuei number 5…except not upbeat and with midnight blue hair instead of dark brown.)

Rui had died…which was sad…but Akane managed to get over it when she bought and killed the creature which had slain her beloved chinchilla- the neighbor's pet boa constrictor.

Aoki Sora and Sakai Hinode were doing alright as well.

Sora's purple locks now reached her shoulder blades.

Hinode's now reached her shoulders.

Both waited with impatience for news from Miyazaki Suo, and passed the time recounting the events from the animeverse and arguing over which chara had been hotter in person: Gaara or Shino.

Akane had decided to repress the memories of that time and pretend as though the whole thing never happened.

She was happier that way.

Unfortunately, fate had other plans.

* * *

Once again, it was Saturday, their suggestive, tasteless movie night. 

And karma was about intervene with Akane's peace once again.

**_-DNNDONNN-_**

Akane finished cinching her lengthy locks into a high ponytail and rushed to the door.

"Yo." She said, allowing the otaku to enter.

"**HEY!**" Sora grinned.

"Whadja bring this time?" Akane asked tiredly, fearing the response (as usual)

"Ron White's _**You Can't Fix Stupid!**_" Hinode smiled, "And **_Comedy Central Present's Dane Cook! The Uncut Version!_**"

"Nice." Akane smirked (inwardly breathing a huge sigh of relief), "I'll set it up. You guys go grab us some munchies from the fridge, kay?"

"Gotcha." Hinode smiled.

"Back in a sec." Sora grinned.

The two dashed out of the room while Akane prepped the tube.

* * *

"Whaddya think?" Sora asked her teal haired friend, "Nachos or ice cream?" 

"Why not both?" Hinode responded with a grin, "Why choose?"

"It's times like these that I'm reminded why we became friends in the first place." Sora sighed happily, sticking the plate of nachos in the microwave.

"Besides the obvious you mean." Hinode smirked, pulling bowls out of the cabinets without looking.

"_Psst! Girls!_" a voise hissed, "_Hey! GIRLS!_"

The looked up from their prep.

"**_SUU-KUN!_**" They squealed, dropping what they were doing to glomp him.

"_Nice to see you too._" He smiled, patting their heads, "_But keep your voices down! I don't want Monkey ta hear this_!"

Their eyes went wide and sparkled with enthusiasm.

"_You fixed it?_" they whispered excitedly.

Suo nodded, looking smug as he pulled the reassembled remote out from behind him.

They glomped him again as he handed it to them.

"_Be up at twelve o' clock midnight._" Suo hissed, face flushed with happiness, "_We'll use it then._"

"_Gotcha!_" they smiled, returning it to his outstretched hands.

Akane noted with suspicion the overly happy expressions on her friends faces as they re-entered the room but decided to ignore them and focus on Dane Cook.

* * *

**_-Later…Twelve O' Clock Midnight…-_**

"…_ra_…_So_…_Sora_…_SORA!_"

"**WAH!**" The purple hair girl screeched, tumbling off the sofa.

A hand clamped over her mouth.

Sora looked up.

It was Hinode, Takaomi and Suo.

Hinode's hand was fastened over her lips.

"_Shhh!_" Suo whispered, pointing at Akane as she began to toss.

Sora nodded and Hinode removed her hand.

"_Why aren't Mannen and Kazuo here?_" Sora hissed.

"_Didn't wanna come._" Suo replied.

"_Plus they wanted their sleep._" Hinode supplied.

They approached the T.V. and muted it.

"_Which one ya wanna hop into this time?_" Takaomi asked, as they flipped through the Anime Network.

"_Wait! Stop!_" Suo whispered.

They all looked at the anime on screen: Shin Kidou Senki Gundam Wing.

"_Is everybody cool with this?_" Takaomi asked.

Sora nodded.

Hinode nodded.

"_Okay then._" Suo said softly, holding up the remote.

* * *

Akane awoke to the sound of whispers and the big screen's bright glow. 

She gave a loud yawn and crawled off the recliner.

"Wuzz goin' on?" she mumbled, blinking at the small congregation in from of the television screen.

Suo's face contorted with sheepishness as his thumb came down on the button.

The familiar vacuum cleaner like suction surrounded them and they flew into the T.V.

* * *

Duo Maxwell gave an almighty yawn. 

It was _**sooooo**_ late and Quatre Raberba Winner and Trowa Barton **_STILL_** weren't back.

He looked up at the Sand Rock, Heavy Arms, Shenron and the Wing Gundams and sighed loudly, scratching the back of his head.

Heero Yuy and Chang Wufei had gotten off their patrol already and had gone to bed.

"Lucky Bastards." He smirked, shaking his head, long braid swishing.

He gaze up at his own Death Scythe fondly.

"I need a vacation...whaddyou think buddy?" he asked the giant mecha.

* * *

**_-FWASH-_**

"**WHUUUOOOOOOOOOOOOOA!**"

"**_YAAAUGH!_**"

"**HOLLEEESHITDUDE!**"

"**I_REALLY_HATETHISPART!**"

"**_SUOYOURETARD!_**"

**_-WUNG-_**

**_-KLUNG-_**

**_-FWUNG-_**

**_-BUNG-_**

**_-WMM-

* * *

_**

The weight was crushing as the blue haired mass slammed into him.

"OOMPH!" He grunted as the air whooshed from his lungs.

The pressure didn't last long though.

Because whomever the hair (that was currently blocking his line of sight) was attached to, automatically got off him and stormed over to a man of about twenty six or twenty seven and began beating the crap of him.

"**DUMBASS! _SHIT-FER-BRAINS!_ RETARD! _BASTARD!_ SHITHEAD!**" She screamed, kicking him repeatedly in the gut.

_"What the hell…is going on here?"_ Duo thought, bewildered.

From on the left shoulderof Sand Rock he heard moans of-

"Owwwiee."

"That really hurrrrrrts."

(Sora and Hino...obviously)

From the right shoulder of Shenron, he heard a groan of-

"Oh...fuck my my back."

(Ruling out Sora, Hinode and Suo, who is currently being bludgeoned to death by Akane, this leads us to the conclusion that this has to be Takaomi)

Duo turned his attention back to the long hair girl who had gotten her hand on a socket wrench and was pounding away at the older man's back.

_"I really should stop her, shouldn't I?"_ he thought with a grin, walking over casually.

* * *

"Unf! Ugh!" Sora groaned, pushing herself upright.

"Owwooo!" Hinode moaned, following suit.

They chanced a peek over the edge and gasped in horror.

Duo.

Duo Maxwell.

One of **_THE _HOTTEST** Bishies in all of anime was closing in fast on Akane.

"**OH _NO!_**" They cried.

* * *

(A/N: And there you have it! They're back in the world of Anime! How will the G-boys handle Akane if she gets a hold of their Uzi's? R&R!) 


	2. Byakko's Breakdown

(A/N: WOO-HOOOO! Tis I! Shinigami Goumon! The reviews! So numerous! How I love a faithful fan following! Now without further adieu, here's chapter two!)

* * *

Duo strolled over to the girl and lightly grabbed her wrist as she went for another swing. 

"_Whoo! MAN her wrists are like twigs!"_ He thought, _"Godda be careful."_

"Hey now!" Duo grinned, "What's all th' fuss about?"

She whirled around glaring at him sadistically through a pair of pale, purply-blue eyes.

Instead of honoring him with a response, the girl elbowed him viciously in the nose.

She managed to break free of his grip, but he managed to twist that wrench out of hers.

So even though he was pretty sure his nose was broken, he was at least ensuring the safety of that other guy.

* * *

Akane gaze darted between the guy with the lengthy braid and her eldest brother. 

"_Who'm I more pissed off at?"_ she asked herself quickly.

She looked at Suo (currently trying to get away)

"_While HE reopened the gateway between our world and this one-the asshole-"_ she thought venomously as she redirected her gaze to the long-haired boy, _"-HE'S one a th' ones responsible for almost KILLING ME!"_

(A/N: see I Hate Everything About You, But WE Just LOVE YOU! Ch. 5)

"Decision made!" she said in a singsong voice, cracking her knuckles.

* * *

Duo continued to staunch the bloodflow from his nose with one hand and saw that the rather petite teenager's ire had been completely redirected…in **_HIS_** direction. 

_"Crap."_ He smiled sheepishly the blood and pain, _"This isn't good!"_

"**AKANE! _STOP!_**" A pair of female voices cried.

The girl's gaze lifted to the Sand Rock's left shoulder.

Duo looked too.

There was a pair of girls up there- looking rather scared (hey, they are up pretty high) and a bit irked as well.

"Leave'm **alone** Akane!" one with purple hair screamed.

"**_YEAH!_** He hasn't **DONE** anything yet!" the other, with teal hair, cried.

"_Akane, huh?"_ Duo thought, remembering his lessons in Japanese back on the L2 colony, _"Fits her to a T! Man, whadda violent bitch!"_

(A/N: see I Hate Everything About You, But WE Just LOVE YOU! Ch. 1)

The blood stopped gushing from his nose.

* * *

Akane glared up at Sora and Hinode. 

"The **_KEYWORD_** here is **YET!**" she growled.

It had been a long time since she had been this angry.

But something was different now.

She felt a horrible, twisting sensation twisting at her insides.

Her face heated.

Her eye began to burn.

Her throat tightened.

Her legs gave way, she took one shuddering breath and-

"**_BWAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAH_-HAAAAAAA-_HAAAAAAAAA-_HAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAUGH!**"

-started to cry.

* * *

Sora and Hinode (and now Takaomi and Suo) gaped in disbelief as big fat tears poured down Akane's cheeks. 

"**I-I-I FUH-_FINALLY_ ESCUH-ESCUH-ESCUH-_ESCAPE_ THAT DAMNED WUH-WUH-_WORLD!_**" she bawled, "**AN'-AN'-AN'YOU DRAG ME BUH-BUH-BUH-_BAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAACK!_**"

They couldn't believe what they were seeing as they watched the former gang leader breakdown.

"She…is crying." Takaomi mumbled, looking down at Suo, "Hey…have you ever seen'er cry?"

"…no." Suo said, voice sounding tight and awkward.

Hinode and Sora's eyes were wide with shock as they beheld this spectacle.

"Crying." Hinode muttered.

"She really is crying." Sora nodded.

(It's taking a while for the thought to reach their cerebellums)

That was when it hit them (**FINALLY!**)

"_SHE'S CRYING FOR THE FIRST TIME EVER AND IT'S ALL OUR FAAAAULT!"_ They thought in horror.

Akane slumped forward, still sobbing.

* * *

Duo stared as another man with fiery red hair began climbing down carefully from Shenlon and walked carefully over to the now weeping girl. 

"C'mon Monkey." The man said awkwardly, patting her shaking shoulder, "It'll be okay. We won't let anything happen to you. Promise!"

The teens face flew up, very red and tearstained, but very, **_VERY_** pissed.

"**SHUT UP!**" She shrieked, "**THIS IS THE_ FIRST TIME_ I'VE _EVER_ CRIED SO JUST SHUT YER _TRAP!_**"

She then considered what he just said, lurched forward (still crying a bit, I might add) and bit down on his wrist.

"**AN' _DOH' _CAH' FEE' _FUNFEE!_**" She screamed in a very muffled voice through the mouthful of flesh and blood.

(Translation: And don't call me Monkey!)

"**YEEEOW!**"he screeched, punching the top of her skull.

She released her vampire-like hold on his wrist and kicked him ferociously in the nads.

"**YOU HAVE _NO RIGHT_ TO COMPLAIN, YOU _UNBUHLIEVABLE ASS!_**" she roared, "**THIS IS _YOUR FAULT TOO_**"

He fell to the floor, gasping for air.

Duo was now more than a little nervous.

"_Okay. Now WHY did I leave my H&K in my nightstand again?"_ he asked himself.

He prepared himself for the worst.

* * *

But Akane slumped to her knees again. 

"God…why couldn't you morons just let things be?" she muttered, lying down on her side, looking unbelievably drained and sulky, "I was so freakin' happy, goddamn it...but nooooo. You just **HAD** to go back."

"Huh?" the Sora said, looking puzzled.

"Whaddre you-" theHinode girl started.

"Isn't obvious?" the Akane snapped, pulling out a pair of headphones from the pocket of her PJ's (yeah, they're all in their pajamas), "I'm goin' ta bed. I'll remind you that until you 'tards woke me up, I was sleepin' quite well, thank you very little."

She then popped in the earphones, closed her eyes and very quickly went to sleep.

* * *

Duo decided to test his luck and tiptoed over to her. 

"Hey…y'know, its not exactly safe ta sleep here." He smirked.

The girl remained asleep.

Duo could hear the throbbing beat of what ever had carried this hair-trigger-tempered girl off to dreamland and became curious.

He carefully extracted one earphone and held it to his ear.

_**One - Nothing wrong with me  
Two - Nothing wrong with me  
Three - Nothing wrong with me  
Four - Nothing wrong with me **_

One - Something's got to give  
Two - Something's got to give  
Three - Something's got to give  
Now

Let the bodies hit the floor  
Let the bodies hit the floor  
Let the bodies hit the floor

Let the bodies hit the floor  
Let the bodies hit the floor  
Let the bodies hit the floor

He suppressed a laugh.

"Doesn't surprise me a bit." He chuckled, replacing the headphone.

* * *

"Maxwell." 

He glanced up.

"Hey Hero-boy." He grinned, "Hey Woofer."

The two let out tired sighs.

"What's all the commotion about?" Chang Wufei asked coolly, dismissing the nickname.

"Are we under attack?" Heero Yuy inquired.

"Naw." Duo smiled, "But some seriously weird shit is goin' down! People are falling outta the sky!"

He gestured around the hanger.

Sora and Hinode waved at the new arrivals furiously from their current position, huge grins on their faces.

"**HI!**" The said cheerfully.

Suo, managed to get to his feet and leaned against Heavy Arms,

"Yo." He grunted, holding his gut.

Takaomi still was in too much agony to stand but gave a wave of acknowledgement.

"'sup?" he rasped painfully from his spot on the ground.

"She's the one who caused most of th' noise." Duo smirked, "Man, she's feisty."

* * *

"I see." Another voice said calmly. 

"Feisty in what way?" another asked, a bit more innocently than the first.

"Hey Cat! Hey Poker-face!" Duo grinned.

Quatre Raberba Winner and Trowa Barton had entered the hanger.

"Believe me." Suo said with a smirk, "You'll see how…feisty…she really is once she's had a good night's sleep."

Duo felt a slight twinge of fear shot through him.

"Umm…could somebody get us down please?" Hinode and Sora called.

Quatre,finally seeing them,gasped and cried out-

"Oh my **_goodness!_** How in the **world** did you get **_up_** there?"

He quickly enter the cockpit of Sand Rock and raised it's right hand, allowing them to climb off.

"Long story short, we got sucked into our T.V." Sora grinned.

"And here we are!" Hinode smiled as Quatre hopped out of the cockpit again.

"**WHICH IS JUST _FINE_ WITH _US!_**" they squealed, glomping the blonde haired Gundam pilot, "**_HEEEEEEEEEEE!_ YOU'RE _SUCHA_ CUTIE!**"

* * *

Quatre turned bright red. 

Duo snickered.

Heero and Wufei frowned.

Trowa remained expressionless.

"Sucked into the television?" Wufei asked slowly.

"What exactly is going on here?" Heero growled.

"I believe we have some explaining to do." Suo sighed.

* * *

(A/N: What'll happen when Akane awakens? The arrival of Relena? A visitation by Milliardo? An attack by OZ? Find out next chapter. R&R!) 


	3. Brother Sister Bonding

(A/N: Woot! Shinigami Goumon here! Such positive responses! And now, ON WITH THE FICCY!)

* * *

"So that's what happened!" Suo finished.

"So we're…fictional in your world?" Wufei asked slowly.

"That's right!" Sora grinned, "Not that **THAT** matters any!"

"Uh huh!" Hinode smiled, "You're all **_UBER _HOTTIES!**"

Quatre blushed again (they have yet to release him)

"Be that as it may-" Heero murmured, "How do you intend to return?"

"We'll do so the way we came." Takaomi smirked, "But we'll hafta wait awhile."

"Why is that?" Trowa asked.

"Because remember? In our world, you're just a show." Suo said smartly, "Which means it runs in an allotted time frame."

"I get it." Trowa murmured, "You've run out of time."

"Exactly!" Sora cried, glomping him now.

"And we're stuck here for a **_WHOOOOOOOOLE_ DAY!**" Hinode squealed.

"Funny." Duo smirked, icing down his schnozz, "You don't seem too bummed."

"And why would we be?" they asked, glomming on to him now, "Surrounded by some of the anime worlds bishiest bishies? What could be better?"

"Hmm…world peace? Ice cream? Cute girls in bikinis?" Duo ticked off.

Wufei and Heero could not hide their disgust.

Takaomi and Suo snickered.

Sora and Hinode just laughed.

* * *

Hinode and Sora now looked at Duo's nose worriedly, eyeing the black rings that had formed around his eyes. 

"Awww…you look like Tanuki-chan." Sora cooed worriedly.

"Does it hurt real bad?" Hinode asked fretfully.

"Naw." Duo grinned, "It'll be better by morning. But one question- Who's Tanuki-chan?"

The pair of fourteen year olds looked at each other and grinned.

"**_GAARA-CHAMA!_**" They declared.

"Who?" the G-Boys asked as one.

"Here we go." Suo and Takaomi thought with amusement as the pair launched into an excited rant about their adventures in the Naruto-verse.

"Not to interrupt." Wufei drawled boredly after about ten minutes, "But…would you mind introducing yourselves?"

"Yes." Trowa nodded placidly, "It is in common courtesy after all."

"**Oops!**" Sora said sheepishly.

"We forgot again." Hinode grinned.

"I'm Aoki Sora!" said the purple-haired, brown-eyed teen cheerfully.

"I'm Sakai Hinode!" the teal-haired, violet-eyed fourteen year old whooped.

"Th' name's Saiko Takaomi." The crimson-haired, golden eyed twenty-two year old smirked.

"Miyazaki Suo." They chestnut-haired, forest green eyed twenty-six year old smiled, pushing up his glasses.

"And the firecracker snoozing on the floor is Monkey-I mean Kakyoin Akane." Takaomi said with mischievous smile, jerking his thumb twords the sleeping, midnight blue-haired, lialac mass in purple PJ's (how can you be threatening in purplePJ's?)on the concrete floor.

"We know they don't act, or look it-!" the otaku pair giggled, "-but these two are Akane's half brothers!"

* * *

Duo's face contorted into a comical expression of shock. 

"You poor guys." He said sympathetically.

"Whaddre you **_talkin'_** about?" Suo asked.

"She's **fantastic!**" Takaomi grinned, "I'm so proud a her!"

"She can even take the **_'C'_** word!" Suo said pridefully.

"…my…my word…" Quatre stammered, looking a little disturbed.

"I **KNOW!**" Takaomi said.

"She's**_ PERFECT!_**" Suo grinned.

Heero's unshakable demeanor faltered at that last remark.

"Another set a hands for when we go ta taverns and get inta bar fights!" Takaomi sighed, "It's** great!**"

"She's just one of the guys!" Suo grinned, "Like a brother with boobs!"

"Okay. That's enough." Wufei said, blushing faintly from disgust.

* * *

_-The Next Morning…-_

**_-KRASH-_**

**_-BANG-_**

**_-KLANG-_**

**_-WUNG-_**

**_-CHNG-_**

**_-FWUNG-_**

"Abuh?" Wufei slurred sleepily, shooting out of bed.

"Whuh th' hell?" Duo mumbled, stumbling out of bed, almost faceplanting after becoming ensnared in his bedsheets.

"Are we under attack?" Heero yelled woozily, hitting his head on the bed frame.

"Sisters! Run-**AHH!**" Quatre cried as he fell out of bed.

Trowa sat up in bed, propped up on his arms for support, blinking slowly.

Duo and Wufei were the only two who managed to get out of bed uninjured (...or awake; Trowa fell back asleep)

The spectacle that met their eyes in the hanger really woke them up.

* * *

A blurred mass of fists, feet, legs, fingers curved into claws, teeth gnashing, was making its way around the concrete floor, slamming into the Gundam's, walls and weapons lockers met their eyes. 

Enraged screams, curses, profanities and insults erupted from the anarchic, fighting mass.

With a sudden shove, the mass broke apart.

It was Akane, Suo and Takaomi fighting again.

All three shot at one another again and began tearing at each other with insults.

"**_BITE ME_, CRACKWHORE MONTHLY _COVERGIRL!_**" (Suo)

"**YOU'D _LIKE THAT_ YOU _BUTT FUCKING SUNNUVABITCH!_**" (Aka)

"**YER _MUTHA!_**" (Taka)

"**WE HAVE THE _SAME_ MUTHA _DIPSHIT!_**" (Aka)

"**YOUR _FATHER_ THEN!**" (Suo)

"**SO? _I DON'T KNOW HIM!_**" (Aka)

* * *

The three broke apart again. 

Akane shot at Takaomi as he threw a punch.

She kicked straight up, locked her leg around his arm then kicked him in the jaw .

Suo caught her around the middle a performed a German Suplex.

No thinking was necessary.

Duo reached over and pulled the fire alarm.

The sprinkler system turned on and rained down on the brawling siblings.

* * *

"**_GAH!_**" Takaomi cried, looking thoriughly irked. 

"**WHAT TH' _HELL?_**" Akane bellowed, looking ten kinds of pissed.

"**WHAT'S GOING ON?**" Suo shouted, looking very bewildered as to why the fight stopped.

Wufei deactivated the alarm.

Heero, Quatre and Trowa, finally out of bed, stumbled over to the scene.

"What seems to be the problem?" Wufei asked coolly.

Akane glared at the Chinese teen.

"I don't hafta tell **YOU** nuthin', **_freak._**" She snarled, switching a sopping wet lock out off her eyes.

"_Man! He wasn't kidding!"_ Duo laughed internally,_ "Whadda hothead!"

* * *

_

"We sa-haaaaw…" Sora yawned, appearing, Hinode on her heels, in the doorway, "…wha' 'appened."

"Akane woke up." Hinode said, sleepily rubbing her eyes, "Taka called her Monkey."

"She called him ass." Sora mumbled tiredly, "So he called her Thunder Thighs."

"Oh dear." Quatre murmured.

"Suo tried to break it up." Hinode muttered jadedly, "But they called'm an interferin' pussy."

* * *

"Then all hell broke loose I take it." another voice said calmly. 

"Relena." Heero nodded, acknowledging the Vice Foreign Minister as she entered the hanger.

"It's good to see you all looking well." Relena Peacecraft smiled warmly, taking in the sight of the enraged, midnight blue-haired,lilac eyed teen, looking very much like a water logged cat.

"And who is this?" she asked in friendly manner.

"None a yer **BEESWAX, _BITCH!_**" Akane snapped, glaring viciously at the girl.

Heero walked over to Akane and gripped her shoulder in a vice like hold.

"Apologize." He growled.

"Hmm…" Akane said, an air of sarcastic thoughtfulness in her voice, "Lemme give it to ya straight: The odds of me apologizin'…are about the same as you-"

She pointed to Heero with her free arm.

"-and you-"

She pointed to Trowa.

"-doin' th' nasty right here, right now, in front a everyone."

Heero quickly lurched away from her as she gave him a truly poisonous smile.

"Howdya like **THEM **odds?" Akane asked, getting to her feet.

* * *

She began sauntering towards the exit. 

"Where are you going?" Wufei demanded to know.

Akane threw a venomous glare over her shoulder.

"Wheredya **think?**" she snarled, "**_OUT!_**"

"In your PJ's?" Duo chuckled.

"Yeah, numbnuts." Akane growled, "In my **PJ's**. now if you don't want me to rip out yer **_eyes_** and shove'm down yer pants so you can **WATCH **as I beat th' shit outta you…I suggest you **_SHUDDUP!_**"

* * *

(A/N: Whaddle happen next? R&R to find out!)


	4. Akane's Crime & Punishment

(A/N: Hey all! I've returned from never-neverland- AKA Sunny California! Now that I've parted ways with the pool and caught a cold, I'm all about you guys again! So kick back, relax and enjoy!)

* * *

People murmured and cast uneasy stares at the drenched teen in her purple PJ's.

Akane quickly got rid of said people with ferocious glares that could make even the hardest of soldiers wet themselves and continued on her way.

Of course she wherever she went, she ran into a new crowd of anime background charas.

And it was really becoming aggravating scaring a new group off every three seconds.

"Mendokusai…" Akane grumbled, massaging her temples, "I **_really_** need some new threads."

The thought of having animated clothing that had been worn by one of those…characters…brushing against her skin, made her sick.

But really, this was far past the point of annoying.

* * *

Hilde Schbeiker ran hurriedly through the crowd. 

She couldn't believe herself!

How could she have slept in on today of all days?

She and Duo were supposed to meet up today and make stink bombs.

_"C'mon, Duo buddy!"_ she internally begged,_ "Puh-leeez still be there!"_

Then she heard the murmurs.

_"Huh?"_ she wondered, _"What's this all about?"_

Hilde, being an average girl, and naturally curious, just **HAD** to find out.

_"Arrgh!"_ she cried out mentally in frustration, _"Why in the hell did I hafta be born so short?"_

* * *

Akane glanced up preparing to glare away the masses again when she spotted **_HER_**: the **PERFECT** candidate (or close enough for all practical purposes) 

She ducked low, darted through the crowds, and latched an arm around the former OZ associate's neck, dragging her into an alley (this wont end well)

Akane slammed the girl into the brick wall.

"**_AAH!_**" Hilde gasped, scowling up at the unknown girl before gaping like a slack-jawed yokel as she took in the PJ's.

"Hello." Akane sneered, crackling her knuckles," I do believe you're wearin' my outfit."

Hilde snapped out of her daze.

"Whut?" she snapped indignantly, "No'm not!"

Akane was now only millimeters away from Hilde's face, grinning in a way so creepy it should be considered illegal.

"Oh, **yes** you are!" Akane smirked evilly, closing in.

"**_HEEEEEEEEP!_**"

* * *

_-Several Hours Later- Five Minutes To Midnight...-_

"There you ah-Akane,wheredidyougetallthat?" Suo asked quickly.

Akane wa scurrently wearing Hilde's clothes (Hilde herself being bound and gagged back in the alley and stuffed in a garbage can)twirling an Uzi around her index finger, a duffel bag filled with only god knows what slung over her back, a motorcycle helmet tucked under her arm and a Ducati Monster parked out side.

"Wheredya think, retard?" Akane snorted, tossing the helmet aside, "From random background charas...duh-uh."

"**HOW MANY _PEOPLE_ DID YOU _MUG?_**" Hinode shrieked.

"I dunno." Akane shrugged, "Lost count after twenty."

"**Oh**…my **_gawd._**" Sora moaned, hiding her face in her hands.

"...why?" Takaomi asked tiredly, face appropriately in palm.

"No reason." Akane shrugged, throwing the duffel across the room, "It's just this place pisses me off."

"So…you…**robbed **people?" Quatre asked, trying to find the logic behind her reasoning (there is none, sweetie; don't hurt yourself)

"What's it t'**_ you_**,**Blondie?**" Akane snapped, still spinning the Uzi (smart enough to hold onto it even tho touching makes her wanna yakk)

"Hey, let's calm down now!" Duo grinned, "No need to get so tense!"

Akane glared viciously at him.

"Did I _**ask** _for **your** input?" she spat.

* * *

Wufei observed this with mild amusement, 

He had to admit, the over cocky American had it coming.

"Hey." Suo said mildly, quickly getting over his youngest siblings crime spree, "It's time."

"**_Finally!_**" Akane said, exasperatedly.

"**Awww.**" Sora and Hinode pouted, "That wasn't **_nearly_** enough time!"

Takaomi, thinking that Akane deserved to be punished, quickly whispered something into Suo's ear.

The tiny smirk that flitted across the twenty six year old's lips was not lost on Heero Yuy…or Akane as her eldest half brother nodded.

Suo pressed the button without anything remotely resembling a warning, causing the vortex Akane, Takaomi and the Otaku Twosome were all too familiar with to engulf them…as well as five unexpected guests.

* * *

Sora, eyes wide, saw Mannen and screamed the first thing that came to mind. 

"**CATCHMECATCHMECATCH_MEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE!_**"

Without thinking Mannen opened his arms wide as the fourteen year old slammed into him, sending them both flying across the room.

Hearing the commotion Kazuo came darting from his room down the hall…only to have Hinode crash into him, sending the pair smashing into an aquarium.

Duo hit a support beam, leaving an interesting shaped dent.

Wufei almost landed on his feet…until the oriental rug skidded out from under him causing his head to crack on the marble floor.

Quatre landed in the soft folds of the mattress laid out on the floor (still laid out from the sleepover)

Trowa landed in the new bean bag chair (to replace the one that had been utterly destroyed in the first saga)

Heero hurtled into a replica of the Venus De Milo, breaking it in half.

Onlya higher power knows where Akane landed.

Suo and Takaomi smashed into the foose ball table causing the legs to give out.

* * *

"**Owww.**" Duo groaned, pushing himself upright, "Well _**that**_ hurt." 

Wufei had knocked himself out on the floor so he wasn't up for much talking right now.

Heero was really out of it because of the head trauma inflicted by the evil sculpture facsimile.

Quatre was entangled in the sheets and was currently trying to free himself.

Trowa hefted himself out of the squishy folds of the beanbag chair and went to assist the blonde Arab.

Akane was no where in sight.

"**Unph!**" Mannen grunted, "Y'alright?"

"Uh-huhhhh." Sora mumbled wearily, pain spider-webbing through her body.

"Anybody get the number a that truck?" Kazuo asked as a Tetra flopped helplessly on his head.

"Whyizz th' room all spinny?" Hinode asked, slumping against the 6'10" teen.

* * *

Suo, regaining his bearings, fumbled in his pocket for his cell, and hit a number on speed dial. 

"Yo, Tachikawa? It's Miyazaki."

"…"

"No, not **_THAT_** Miyazaki." Suo laughed, "Listen pal, you know that time I loaned you two thousand bucks and you never paid me back? Well I'm calling in a favor."

"…"

"Glad we understand each other." Suo smirked, "Now here's what I want you ta do."

* * *

Akane stared at the wall blearily. 

Her the backs of her knees and spine hurt.

A lot.

_"Where exactly did I land?"_ she wondered.

She felt herself swinging.

A soft creak.

_"That isn't good."_ Akane thought.

She carefully twisted herself around to see that she had somehow landed on the chandelier.

She heard soft murmurs several feet below.

She strained to hear and gasped in horror at what she heard.

"**No**…" she hissed as Suo hung up the phone with a satisfied smirk on his face, "**NO_ WAY!_**"

* * *

Akane launched herself down from the chandelier, landing only inches away from Suo, stomping down on Wufei's ponytail, ripping him out of semi-consciousness. 

"**YOU DID _NOT_ JUST _DO_ _THAT!_**" Akane screamed.

"Do what?" Quatre inquired.

"**OWOW_OWWW!_**" Wufei cried.

"What's goin' on?" Duo asked.

"Nothing much." Takaomi snickered, "It's just you guys work s'hard we figured ya deserve a break."

"So I just called up my contact at the Anime Network, pulled a few strings and had Gundam Wing pulled off the roster for two weeks!" Suo grinned, thoroughly enjoying his sister's You-Will-Die-**NOW!**-look.

"So consider your self on vaca for the next two weeks gentlemen!" Takaomi smiled as Akane streaked off in the other direction shouting, "**I HATE _YOUUUUUUUUUUUU!_**"

* * *

"Uhh…" Wufei gasped, sitting up quickly and massaging his scalp, "Damn woman." 

"Vacation." Heero muttered, regaining his senses quickly, "What about OZ?"

"OZ will wait!" Suo grinned, "Just think of it this way: Your world is a movie and we've just press the pause button for two weeks!"

"Understood." Heero nodded.

"Dually noted." Trowa murmured quietly, untangling the last sheet.

"I must admit, a vacation does sound pleasant." Quatre smiled, happy to be freed.

"Man, I can't even **remember** th' last time I had a break!" Duo whooped happily.

"**_WOO HOO!_**" Sora cried, glomming onto Trowa, "**TWO WHOLE _WEEKS_ WITH THE G-BOYS!**"

"**_SA-WEET!_**" Hinode hooted, glomping Quatre, who blushed hard, "**HOW COULD IT GET _ANY_ BETTER!**"

"Oi, where'd Monkey get to?" Kazuo asked.

"Yeah." Takaomi nodded, "She should be waist deep in her punishment!"

"Punishment?" Mannen asked, "**_Greeeeat._** Whaddid she do **now?**"

"It's a long story that'd be best saved for morning." Suo smirked, "But for now, lets head to the security room."

* * *

**_-SPLAPSPLAPSPLAPSPLAPSPLAPSPLAPSPLAPSPLAPSPLAPSPLAPSPLAPSPLAP-_**

"**DAMN_DAMN_DAMN_DAMN_DAMN_DAMN_DAMN!**" Akane shrieked running across the cool surface in barefeet.

She leapt into the air.

"**DEATH TO _ANIMANGA!_**" She bellowed, going into a swan dive and hitting the heated pool water with a tiny splash.

She swam along the bottom, circling like a shark, pivoting quickly at the corners.

Pressure building.

Oxygen, dissipating.

Need!

**AIR!**

Akane broke the surface with a gasp, swiftly refilling her lungs.

"**_Haaa_**…that felt** gooooood.**" She smirked, dipping her head back and smoothing down her hair.

The thrill of dancing with death never got old.

It was a constant rush.

Know at any moment, that she could teeter off that knife edge and die was such a high!

And ever she did die well, oh well.

Too bad.

It was just a game to her.

A sick, perverse game to be sure, but still, only a game.

* * *

Akane took a breath and launched herself off the side of the pool, doing very speedy laps, determined to work off the anger and stress no matter how long it took. 

Even if it took all night.

Which it probably would.

No…scratch that.

Undoubtedly would.

Because after completing her second lap, she heard a loud cry of, "**_BANZAI!_**" and felt several impacts hit the water around her that almost sent her sloshing head first into the side of the pool.

She didn't even need to guess.

Akane already knew that Suo had used the security cameras located around the house to track her down.

When Suo wanted to punish her, he always followed through…for the first three days at least.

* * *

Akane gazed at the high ceiling with contempt. 

"God…Buddha…Jehovah…Geneisha…Colonel Sanders…whatever's up there…if you love me…you'll kill me…right here and now." Akane growled.

"Oh, **Akane!**" Kazuo grinned cheerfully, "You suffered through _**six years**_ of child abuse, grew up to be a **gang leader**, a weapons **_fanatic_** and a violent **freak!**"

"Your two best friend and all four of your half brothers **_adore_** what you **despise**…" Hinode ticked of, "And your brother's frighten away **_any_** man that might be even **remotely** interested in you!"

"Whomever is up there **_obviously_** doesn't like you all that much!" Mannen smirked.

_"These guys are good."_ Duo grinned to himself, _"Waitaminute! Gang leader?"_

Akane turned an interesting shade of red.

"**Sh-SHUDD_UP!_**"

She hefted herself out of the pool and stormed down the hall.

"After her!" Suo crowed.

"Affirmative." Heero nodded.

"Understood." Trowa said softly.

"Why?" Quatre wondered.

"Damn that woman…almost ripped it off my head." Wufei thought viciously.

"Hoo-hoo! This is fun!" Duo thought.

* * *

(A/N: Suo and Takaomithinks their punishment is brilliant, but our gaming genius has forgotten one factor of the equation: Akane's at home...where all her GUNS AND WEAPONS ARE STORED! What will happen next chapter? R&R!)


	5. But You Said! Aw Man!

(A/M: WOO! The first one was popular! The scond one is even MORE POPULAR-ER! Woo-hoo! Alright! Now onto the next chappie!)

* * *

Unlike the Naru-tachi before them, the G-Boys never made it to their rooms.

No, they spent the night in the hall.

Duo Maxwell was the first to awaken after the madness of the night before.

The braided boy blinked blearily through blue-violet eyes.

"Where'm…oh yeah…" he thought sleepily, "Thaaaaaaat's right."

Duo propped himself up on his elbow and surveyed the scene around him.

Hinode was almost totally hidden from view by an overturned plant and a bullet riddled column (we'll get to that in a moment)

Quatre was currently curled up like a kitten beneath an overturned desk, sleeping soundly.

Sora was partially concealed by a flowering plant that had been knocked over.

Suo was slumped across a chair (one leg missing)snoring loudly.

Trowa was draped over an overturned column (don't worry. it's the type that isn't a part of the actual structure), his head propped on his arm, dozing.

Kazuowas on top of chest of drawers, his long arms and legs dangling over the edges.

Wufei leaned against the wall, head lolling off to one side, drooling slightly; sleeping profoundly.

Takaomi was leaning against a pile of dirt next to Sora.

Heero was on his side, knees in his chest, thumb in his mouth in the middle of the chaos.

"Huh…I never figured that Heero would be one ta suck his thumb." Duo snickered to himself, reminiscing on the night before.

* * *

It had been absolute chaos. 

The G-Boys, along with their hosts, had trekked to Akane's room.

The door was plastered with signs that read as follows:

**DO NOT ENTER- AKANE'S ROOM: LEAVE ME ALONE. I DON'T CARE. SHUT UP & GO AWAY.**

**INSURED BY SMITH & WESSON, SECURITY BY WINCHESTER, FUNERAL ARRANGEMENTS BY REMMINGTON & COLT**

**YOU ARE NOW IN RANGE**

**SCREW THE DOG! BEWARE OF OWNER!**

**I'VE GOT PMS, A LOADED GUN, FIFTY ACRES & SHOVEL: FUCK WITH ME! I DARE YA!**

**A PROUD MEMBER OF THE NRA**

**TRESSPASSERS WILL BE SHOT! SURVIVORS WILL BE SHOT AGAIN!**

**ONLY WUSSIES CARRY TASERS (piccy of a woman beating a man over the head with a bat)**

**P.M.S.- PUTTING UP WITH MEN'S SHIT**

Mannen was the one to raise his hand and knock on the door.

Although it didn't really get that far.

Actually, Mannen's knuckles didn't even have the opportunity to connect with the wood before it was flung open from within.

* * *

The group then found themselves staring down the barrel of a 100/44 Nambu sub-mach.

Akane grinned insanely and tossed several ten inch tube-like objects into the hall, firing at each one.

**_-BA-KROOM-_**

**_-BA-KROOM-_**

**_-BA-KROOM-_**

**_-BA-KROOM-_**

"**BOMBS?**" Sora cried, diving beneath a chest of drawers.

"**WHERE THE _HELL_ DID SHE-?**" Hinode shrieked, scuttling behind an overturned table.

"**JUST THE RIGHT _HOUSEHOLD CHEMICALS_ MIXED IN THE _PROPER PROPRTIONS!_**" Akane cackled, now firing at anything that moved.

* * *

Quatre dove behind a marble pillar, covering his head with his arms.

Trowa darted there with him, pressing his back against the thick marble.

Heero returned fire, dodging bullets as he took aim.

Duo did the Please-Don't-Kill-Me!-Dance as he continued to only evade the white-hot flying projectiles by millimeters.

Mannen had been blown out a window by the first blast and was no where to be seen.

Takaomi and Suo lay on the floor, alive but smoldering.

Kazuo did the only logical thing to do.

He hurled the nearest heavy object (a Ming vase; poor Suo) at his siblings head, effectively knocking her out, and slammed the door shut as she fell to the floor in her room.

* * *

"She's worse than Heero." Duo thought, shaking his head as a maid dashed past him and into the trigger happy teen's room.

The female servant could be perceived begging, "Kakyoin-sama! **Kakyoin-sama!** You must wake up! It's seven ten! You are late for school!"

"Whuh-oh **_SHIT!_**" Akane could be heard to shriek.

Loud thumps and bangs as well as several very loud profanities emanated from the room.

The maid scurried out, looking harassed.

Akane stormed out, dressed in a school uniform, hopping into a loose sock as she went.

She dashed over to the sleeping forms of Hinode and Sora, two more uniforms in one hand, a hair brush in the other.

"**WAKE _UP _DUMBSHITS!**" she shrieked, kicking them both in the ribs.

"**_ACK!_**" Sora screeched.

"**OWOO!**" Hinode howled.

Akane threw the uniforms on them as she dashed down the hall, stomping on Wufei's ponytail again, Quatre's wrist, Trowa's bangs (they ARE kinda hard ta miss), the end of Duo's braid and Heero's foot.

Well…that's one version of a wake up call.

"**GET _DRESSED!_**" She bellowed, "**WE'RE _LATE!_**"

"**WAAAAAH!**" They shrieked, dashing into Akane's room, slamming the door behind them.

* * *

"We'll lend y-**_aaaawn_**-uniform." Kazuo yawned sleepily.

"Yeee-uh." Mannen nodded blearily, clamoring in through the window.

"Uniforms?...uhhh…why?" Duo asked smartly, "I thought we we're supposda be on vaca."

"Cause you'd get lost in the city without a guide." Suo said, getting to his feet, "Me and Taka have work and those two have school and as it currently stands, we're all late because of last night's fiasco."

"We'll arrange ever-**aaaaaaawn**-everythin' this af'ernooon." Kazuo yawned, stretching.

"Fer now, jus' tag along with'em." Mannen slurred sleepily, pulling leaves and twigs from his hair.

Heero nodded silently, as did Trowa.

Quatre smiled nervously and nodded as well.

Wufei was too busy massaging his scalp to care.

"Well this could be interesting." Duo grinned to himself, "If last night was any indicator."

* * *

Sora and Hinode chowed down hurriedly on bagels with cream cheese.

Mannen and Kazuo chatted with Quatre and Duo (they are the only ones willing to speak to them) while scarfing down Hot Pockets.

Trowa sat with his arms folded and his legs crossed, looking detached.

Wufei sat in Indian style and his hands on his thighs.

Heero stared idly out the window, appearing to take in the city outside.

Akane looked a caged tiger; like she would be pacing back and forth right now if there weren't so many feet in the way.

Duo and Quatre immediately pick up on her Let-Me-Outta-Here!-Vibe, and turned to her friends for answers.

* * *

"Is something the matter?" Quatre asked, "Is she prepping herself for an attack?"

"Oh nothing like that!" Sora laughed (after swallowing a mouthful of food)

"Then what's up?" Duo snickered, "Why so stressed?"

"It's cuz we missed the train." Hinode supplied with a smile.

"Is that all?" Quatre inquired, voice laced with surprise.

"It's because I don't like drawin' more attention t' myself th'n necessary." Akane snarled (...you've GOT to be kiddin')

She glanced out the window of Suo's private jet at the hundreds of gaping students below, letting loose a growl of frustration.

"**_RRRRRGH!_** He **ALWAYS** over does things that show-offy-'tard!"

"Aw, c'mon Monkey." Kazuo smirked, "It's not so bad."

"Every once in awhile 'sokay." Mannen nodded, "Don't let it bug you."

Akane shot them withering looks.

"Guys?" she said sardonically, "The next time you have a thought…let it go."

* * *

(A/N: Next time: The G-Boys Go Back To school! Periods 1-6 next chapter!Let the mayhem commence!As well as a rundown of the street gang naming & ratingsystem by none other than Sora & Hinode! R&R!


	6. Skool Daze

(A/N: Hey all! Thank you for all your positive responses! And now, heeeeeeeeres the next chapter!)

* * *

The group strolled into room 307 for independent study. 

Kuniyasu Chika didn't even raise her head, although many of the other students did.

Briefly.

Before returning to goofing off like they were before the disruption.

There was a cluster of desks located towards the front which the group quickly filled.

"Ugh…" Akane groaned, attempting to run her fingers through her tousled mane, "My hair's an absolute wreck…gawd I just sounded like a total prep, didn't I?"

Sora and Hinode giggled.

"Here." Sora said, snatching the brush protruding from Akane's bag (she stuffed it there on her way out).

"We'll fix it." Hinode smiled, whipping out her own.

Resting her chin on arms, that were neatly folded on the desk in front of her, Akane closed her eyes as they set to work.

* * *

As the Otaku Twosome set about untangling the knotted locks as the G-Boys took note of the disarray around them. 

"Um…question!" Duo asked, "This is a school right?"

"Of course it is!" Sora laughed, working on a particularly stubborn rat's nest.

"What a question!" Hinode snickered, tackling a rather tangled section near the nape of Akane's neck.

"Watch it." Akane hissed, eyes opening into narrow slits out of pain.

"Then why isn't anyone studying?" Wufei asked tersely, eyeing a group of preppies in the back who were painting their toenails, gossiping and reading fashion mags.

"Cuz this is Independent Study." Hinode supplied, "Student are supposed to study on their own."

"Which they don't." Sora laughed, "Mostly they just waste time or catch up on their z's."

"Why doesn't the teacher say anything?" Quatre asked voice laced with concern, and eyes widening as he witnessed the sensei cut her thigh with the infamous box cutter.

"Cuz...she has issues." Akane muttered sardonically, enjoying the look on his (and Duo's) face as Kuniyasu idly cut the back of her own hand, examined it, then moved on to another section of skin.

Trowa was unmoved.

Heero either didn't care, or the muscles in his face were on permanent hiatus (you decide)

* * *

"**There!**" Sora said, a note of satisfaction in her voice. 

"**_Done!_**" Hinode smiled triumphantly (so many knots!)

"Thank god." Akane sighed, "It felt like you we're tryna rip out chunksa my scalp."

"Unintentional I assure you!" Hinode grinned, holding uo her hands defensively, "We only did what was necessary."

"Yeah, but it was so tangly!" Sora cried, "Whaddya do? Get in a fight with a weed whacker and lose?"

Akane glared at them as she quickly switched her near-hip length hair into a loose ponytail (…Kikyo? Izzat y-nope. Bangs are too long. Never mind.)

"Shut up."

The bell rang, signaling the end of the period.

* * *

"I hope whatever is next will actually be slightly academically stimulating in nature." Wufei muttered, "That shameless display was just too reprehensible to be allowed." 

"No such luck." Akane snickered, "It's Studio Art with our school's favorite Pothead, Morita Shigeru."

"Studio Art?" Quatre asked, looking happy, "Really? No kidding? I **love** art! Painting, sculpting, carving, you name it!"

Sora and Hinode could barely contain themselves at the sight of this happy bishounen.

The urge to glomp him into a coma was most high.

Needless to say, Quatre's visions of a sensei with whom he could share a discussion about Renoir quickly flew out the window upon the opening of door 3-D.

The man in rose tinted glasses (with hair almost longer than Duo's) sat with his flip-flop encased feet propped up on the desk in a Hawaiian print shirt and Bermuda shorts.

* * *

Even Heero had to raise an eyebrow when Akane lit up during class and not a word was said. 

"Why…isn't Morita-san doing anything about that?" he asked.

Instead of replying, Hinode and Sora just jerked clay covered thumbs toward his office.

Curiosity getting the better of him and the rest of the G-Boys, they strode over and peered inside.

Morita Shigeru has currently toking off a bong shaped like Professor Dumbledore.

They almost couldn't see him through all the smoke.

Wufei looked like he wanted to die; such a disgraceful display from a teacher! (Get **_OVER_** it!)

Trowa was still unmoved.

Quatre appeared to be only seconds away from crying (poor boy; so disillusioned)

Heero shook his head in disgust.

Duo was loving this place more and more by the second.

* * *

The bell rang again and the supplies were quickly stowed away as they trekked towards third. 

"Well what now?" Wufei asked sarcastically, "Balloon animals?"

Trowa's expressionless mask twitched ever so slightly at that last remark.

"No such luck." Sora groaned dejectedly.

"Yeah…we wish." Hinode mumbled dismally.

"It's English with Minagawa Shouji." Akane grunted, "And quitcher bitchin'."

"We don't wanna." Hinode moaned.

"We didn't cram." Sora whimpered.

"And whose fault is **that?**" Akane snorted (she has a point, ya know.)

* * *

The G-Boys got off lucky in this class. 

In fact, they got to be entertained as Minagawa zeroed in on Sora and Hinode as if he has They-Didn't-Study-dar (I swear my teacher's have that) as he shot question after question their way.

Wufei and Quatre found the cry of "**_DOUBLE HOMEWORK!_**" quite refreshing.

But it got stale after hearing it for the twenty-third time.

I mean, you can only hear something so many times before wanting to hit someone.

* * *

When the bell rang for the seventh time that day (1), the group hiked outside for fourth. 

The entered the pod (ya know, those classroom that are detached from the actual school thatcha hafta walk out to?) and took their seats.

Shiranui Rikugo gave a fascinating lecture about Endangered Birds.

He even had a guest lecturer from a local wildlife preserve who had several live specimens in cages.

"**Ooo!** Pretty!" Sora breathed.

"**_Neato!_**" Hinode grinned.

Trowa's eyes took on a contented light as the speaker walked past him with the blindfolded Crescent Serpent Eagle (2)

He really wished to hold the bird, but he took note that this was a new world with a new set of rules and settled begrudgingly on giving it a light stroke along feathers that lined it's back.

* * *

Then came lunch. 

Things were a bit different today.

No one was trying to gore anyone for corndogs like usual.

The reason?

The Superintendent was doing a evaluation of Benitora and he had threatened two months of reform school to anyone who started anything.

Not like that was gonna stop Akane from stirring up trouble.

Hinode was the one who caught in the act of molding a rice ball out of it's proper triangle and into a perfect sphere.

Didn't take a genius to see where this was going.

Aiming at the back of a particularly large, testosterone driven hulk name Usami, Akane bellowed, "**FOOOOOOOOOOOOOD _FIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIGHT!_**"

Duo watched as time appeared to slow down as the rice ball splattered against the back of the Ah-nuld wannabe's head.

One moment of impact, tables were flipped, creating makeshift barricades and all hell broke loose.

* * *

"**WAAUGH!**" Quatre cried a pudding cup splatted against his cheek. 

A bit angry, he grabbed a handful of what appeared to be Udon noodles and chucked them in the direction the pudding had come.

"**_INJUSTICE!_**" Wufei shouted, hurling gobs of mashed potatoes in all directions (he got hit full on in the face with a Super Spicy Curry Ramen)

Duo being Duo, leapt into the middle of the fray, armed with a bottle of teriyaki sauce in one hand, and mustard in the other.

"**Feel the wrath of Mawell!**" he cackled, squirting the condiments in various directions.

"This…is utter lunacy." Heero muttered, avoiding getting hit by staying behind the table.

"Insane." Trowa mumbled.

"Oh, act yer age!" Akane snapped, smashing two handfuls of chocolate cake into their faces.

It was a rule of combat that made Heero and Trowa respond (or at least that's what they told themselves)

Heero grabbed a tray filled with lettuce and chucked it at her.

Trowa lobbed several cartons of milk.

Two of Trowa's projectiles hit the mark while the rest hit innocent bystandards.

Heero's lettuce hit Akane in the back of the head.

Duo noting how his comrades were now in the spirit of things, went to douse a pair of jocks, who were attempting to flee, with ketchup.

* * *

Before the bell rung, Sora and Hinode dragged the G-Boys out of the cafeteria, where a war still was being waged. 

"Aw, what's th' deal?" Duo whined as he was dragged along by the elbow, "I was havin' fun!"

"Yeah, but the bell's gonna ring in ten minutes for fifth!" Sora said pointedly.

"That only gives ya us much time ta clean up." Hinode said sensibly.

"So we're going to the locker rooms now so we can shower off and change into our gym clothes." They said together.

"Sounds reasonable enough." Quatre nodded.

"Indeed." Wufei said, trying to play off the fact that he was dripping with soup, pudding and mushy bread.

"Where did your…friend…get to?" Heero asked, a little ashamed he had taken her bait.

"Yes, I didn't see her leave with us." Trowa said mildly (he's over it)

"Oh she's just off…borrowing us some uniforms." Sora said awkwardly.

Hinode blushed a bit from embarrassment.

_"It really is helpful at times…though I'd never admit that out loud."_ She thought to herself, _"And unless she's royally T'd she only steals when necessary."_

* * *

They arrived at the lockers with Akane waiting for them; showered, redressed in her gym buruma and hair done up in a high ponytail. 

"I left'em inside." She snorted, pushing off the wall, "See ya in class."

"**_Kay!_**" Sora and Hinode said in unison.

The game today was soccer, so once again, they were outside.

They were divided into four separate teams.

Akane was named as Captain for Team 1 again.

But the Captain for Team 3 was a girl who went by the name Kouen Miyu.

It was obvious by the vibe between them, they absolutely despised one another.

There hatred for each other was so palpable, that it was almost on par for Akane's hatred of Animanga.

The G-Boys (surprise surprise) ended up on Akane's team, so when they were sidelined to clear the field for team's they ask Sora and Hinode what was up.

* * *

"Huh? Oh her?" Sora blinked, looking at the curly crown haired girl with golden brown eyes, "Akane hates her because she's been attempting to horn in on her turf." 

"Yeah." Hinode nodded, "That's Genbu the Merciful."

"Genbu the Merciful?" Wufei asked slowly.

"Mm-hm!" Hinode nodded again, "In the world of street gangs, the twelve most powerful leaders are bestowed with the names of the twelve beast gods."

"And I'm guessin' that th' top four, get the titles of the four strongest gods, right?" Duo grinned.

"Exactly." Sora smiled, "The current four are as follows: Suzaku the Fierce: Yakusho Riho. Seiryuu the Cold: MomoiKoji.Genbu the Merciful: Kouen Miyu, who'sin a veryclose second. And in the number one slot…Byakko the Cruel: Kakyoin Akane."

"Akane currently has held the top spot for three years, which is almost unheard of." Hinode shuddered, "If she lasts another year, she's make history."

_"Huh…it's hard to find anyone shorter than Woofer threatening_(3)_."_ Duo thought to himself as they took the field.

* * *

As the group tottered into Wakabayashi Hiro's math class, Duo's pleasant demeanor was gone. 

"Hey, I apologized didn't I?" Akane drawled, taking a seat in the back.

"**NO!**" he snapped, glaring at her through watery eyes.

"Good." Akane nodded, smirking, "I thought in a brief moment of madness I may have apologized for sending that soccer ball rocketing into yer nads."

Duo scowled at her as Quatre attempted to stifle a laugh.

You what they say: It's always fun until someone gets hurt.

Then it's**_ HILARIOUS!_**

* * *

As Wakabayashi, better known as the most boring human being in the face of existence, lulled the class to sleep with his monotone, the blonde Arab Quatre was sweating from the humid heat filling the room. 

_"Ullgh…"_ he thought bleakly, eyelids drooping,_ "Why doesn't he open a window?"_

Heero was in the middle of a rather strange dream involving Relena and flan.

Trowa was fighting to stay conscious.

Duo chose to forgo that battle and had fallen asleep three minutes into class.

Wufei eyes were full moons, giving the appearance that he was conscious, when in actuality, he had fallen asleep with his eyes open.

The air room was muggy, stagnant, and heavy with the stink of sweat.

The few who had managed to remain conscious had the glazed unfocused stare of dead fish.

The bell jolted the slumbering students awake and there were resounding cries of joy as the dashed from the classroom.

* * *

"I'd be happy if I didn't have so much homework." Sora sobbed as they shuffled aboard the bullet train. 

"Quit complainin'." Akane drawled.

"Feeling any better?" Hinode asked Duo, who was standing a little straighter now.

"Yeah." he smiled, "I'll live."

"Let's just get this out of the way." Quatre said comfortingly to Sora, "Then we can get to more enjoyable things!"

Sora glomped him again.

"You're such a gentleman!" She squealed.

Quatre almost fainted.

"Whadda lady killer." Duo hooted.

_"…he better keep his inky hands off her!"_ Akane thought ferociously (Yeesh! Can you say mother hen?)

* * *

(A/N: Raves, Mosh Pits, Mini skirts and more! All this next chappie! R&R!)

* * *

(1)- It adds up to seven like this: Warning bell, First starts, First ends, Second starts, Second ends, Third starts, Third ends) 

(2)- Yes, the Crescent Serpent Eagle does exists and yes, it is endangered

(3)- In this ficcy, the G-Boys have gone through growth spurts. Trowa is the tallest at 5' 9", then Duo at 5' 8", Heero is 5' 7 ½", Quatre is 5' 6" and Wufei brings up the rear at 5' 4"


	7. Of Raves & Mosh Pits: Part 1

(A/N: Heya! Shinigami Goumon here! VI hafta telly, I am lovin' my reviewers sooo much right now! WOOT! And to prove it, I shall be sending out a piccy of the G-Boy's, Akane, Sora and Hinode in club wear, to all those who review this chappie! Hoo-hoo! ONWARD AND UPWARD MY LOYAL READERS!)

* * *

The G-Boys were sprawled out with the Otaku Twosome in the T.V. room doing their homework. 

Akane had trekked upstairs to do hers after catching Hinode and Sora attempting to sneak answers twice.

"There's no way we'll finish all this in one night!" Sora sobbed, "English is my weakest subject!"

"Akane's so lucky…stupid bilingual bitch…" Hinode grumbled (Suo travels a lot and drags his siblings along on business trips; they've had to pick up a lot to get by)

**_-FWOK-_**

"**OWWIE!**" Hinode sobbed, holding her head and rocking back and forth.

Trowa pluck the object that had been lobbed at the purple haired teen's head.

"An English Textbook." He murmured.

"**Bilingual bitch, huh?**" Akane's voice said, echoing slightly(in perfect in English I might add), "**That's a new one.**"

* * *

The midnight blue haired, lilac-eyed teen strode down the stairs, arms swinging slightly. 

Duo came close hemorrhaging through the nose.

Wufei's jaw dropped.

Heero's calm demeanor was shattered in favor of an expression of total shock.

Quatre passed out (poor baby).

Trowa's flat expression was exchanged for one of "mild" surprise.

Akane was wearing the kind of micro-mini seen only on strippers and girls in music videos that showed off her well trained fighter's legs nicely.

A long-sleeved, red crop top revealed a bellybutton piercing that sparkled against a flat, well toned stomach.

Her lengthy, midnight blue hair was pulled into pigtails, which while cute at first glance, gave a gentle reminder of her true nature by way of silver skull hair ties.

A 9mm semi-automatic Tech-9 machine pistol was strapped to her thigh.

A switchblade to her ankle, hidden inside her footwear.

Black wristbands adorned her wrists and black combat boots completed the outfit.

* * *

Akane completely ignored their reaction as she strode towards the door. 

Mannen entered the room, noticed her leaving and asked, "Where ya goin'?"

"Out." Akane replied easily, striding to the door.

"When'll ya be back?" Kazuo inquired, walking past Mannen and darting up the stairs.

"Later." Akane responded, opening the door.

"Will ya call ta check in?" Suo asked absentmindedly as he ambled through, eyes focused on a stack of spreadsheets.

"Maybe." Akane said, slamming the door shut behind her, strolling easily down the walk to meet her ride.

* * *

"Huh-**_hey!_**" Duo cried, snapping out of his trance, "Where's she off to?" 

"Well, obviously she's done with her homework." Takaomi smirked, "And the sun is hangin' low. The answer's kinda obvious."

"Ummm…" Duo trailed off, drawing a blank.

"She's going dancing." Sora sighed, eyes focused on her Math book as she struggled with a Calculus equation "To a Rave."

"Or Mosh Pitting." Hinode muttered, chewing on her pencil eraser as she struggled with her English translations, "Or both."

The two sighed.

_"Lucky."_ they thought enviously.

"Why doncha go after your done?" Takaomi asked.

Sora looked at him sorrowfully.

"Minagawa." Hinode moaned, letting her head fall in her textbook.

"Ooo." Mannen, inhaled sharply, "That hardass? Man, I remember him! Ouch!"

* * *

"Hey, one time offer." Suo smirked, "I'll do it for ya…sorta." 

"**REALLY?**"The Otaku Twinssquealed (I think they're missing the **_sorta_** portion of the program)

"Mm-hm." Suo nodded, "What better way to enforce my-"

"RMHRM!" Takaomi cleared his throat loudly.

"I mean **_'our'_** punishment." Suo grinned.

"You guys can borrow some of our clothes." Mannen smirked at the G-Boys.

"And we'll borrow some of Aka's!" Sora squealed.

"Why would we need to borrow clothes?" Quatre asked (conscious again)

"What's wrong with what we're wearing now?" Wufei asked tartly.

"Cuz the club's Akane goes to enforce a strict dress code." Hinode explained.

"Is that so." Trowa said matter-a-factly.

"Yuh-huh." Kazuo nodded at the top of the stairs, "Ya don't dress accordingly, ya don't get in."

"And believe me," Suo snorted, "No offense, but you have as much chance as a rat in a cat convention of getting past the bouncers dressed like that."

"None taken." Heero nodded.

"You help these guys while we get dressed, kay?" Hinode asked, walking up the stairs with Sora on her heels.

"No prob." Takaomi said, giving them a thumbs up.

* * *

_-Later…At Code_(1)_…-_

"Are you sure this is the right place?" Quatre asked, his voice laced with uncertainty.

"This is where Taka tracked her to(2)." Sora shrugged.

"Are you certain that these…things meet the dress code?" Wufei asked, his voice dripping with disdain.

"Lighten up, Wu-chan!" Hinode grinned, "You guys look hot!"

It was true too.

They DID look hot.

And they were drawing attention from many of the people walking past and around them in line.

* * *

Heero was dressed in an over sized black band tee that read "H.I.M." across the front in blood red letters. 

A baggy pair black jeans sagged stylishly about his hips and borrowed black Converse shoes.

A pair of spiked wristbands completed the outfit.

Trowa sported a mud brown tee that read "CONTRABAND" in graffiti script, beneath an oversized black sweatshirt (left unzipped).

Loose fitting blue jeans, a pair of K-Swiss and a black and red wristband completed the outfit.

Duo was shirtless beneath a black leather jacket, a pendant gleaming against his bare pecs.

Restraint pants (WAAH! Hard to draw! SO…MANY…STRAPS!), a pair of blue-black Gravis Argo skater shoes and a cocky grin completed the outfit.

Wufei wore a tight, black tank with a bright yellow skull splashed across the chest.

A pair of baggy, camouflage pants clung to his hips and draped over his borrowed Vans.

A pair of folded arms, an uncomfortable expression and black wristbands completed his outfit.

Quatre had been outfitted in a pair of tight fitting dark blue jeans with two belts slung around his hips.

A white wife beater beneath a dark blue hoodie (hood down) and a red ball cap twisted backwards completed his out fit.

* * *

"Th-thank you." Quatre smiled. 

"You look two awesome too, if I do say so myself." Duo grinned.

Sora and Hinode squeaked and made rather strange noises in response.

Sora was dressed in a corset, black arm warmers and a miniskirt not nearly as scandalous as Akane's.

A pair of low heeled boot completed the outfit.

Hinode wore a pair of leather pants that laced up the sides, a white tank with the words "Hello Satan" on the front, and a pair of lacey fingerless gloves.

A pair of Converse Skull Patterned sneakers completed her outfit.

* * *

Upon reaching the front of the line, the bouncers gave them a quick nod and ushered them along. 

"That was fairly easy." Heero muttered.

"They must have an informant." Trowa murmured.

"What are you talking about?" Hinode asked, regaining her speaking ability as they made their way to the coat room.

"Have you…never been to a club before?" Sora asked carefully.

"To be blunt? No." Duo grinned,

The Otaku Twins shot each other worried looks.

This could get ugly.

"Oookay." Hinode said slowly, "Stick close to us and whatever you do? Don't kill anyone."

"This means you Heero." Sora said, "You too, Wufei."

They passed by the coat room and approached the double doors with bated breath.

"Here we go." They said together, pushing them open.

* * *

Flashing lights. 

Pulsing music.

Writhing bodies.

Total sensory overload.

It a moment for the G-Boys to adjust.

"Whoa." Quatre gaped.

"AWESOME!" Duo grinned.

Wufei looked very nervous now.

As did Heero and Trowa.

The only people sitting were drinking and/or smoking.

Everyone else was dancing.

Wufei did **NOT** dance and couldn't hold his liquor to save his life.

Heero only danced with Relena on principle (and she aint here right now) and never drank.

Trowa had two left feet and while he drank once in a while he's…how can I put this…a **_"cheap"_** drunk.

Needless to say, they were in truh-bull when nearby girls noticed them and began wading through the multitudes of dancers towards them.

Panic flooded them as they ran out of options.

"We'll be at the bar!" They said simultaneously, disappearing as though they had never been there to begin with.

* * *

"Huh…what's with them?" Sora asked Duo wonderingly. 

"Beats th' shit outta me." He replied with a shrug.

"Come." Quatre said, "Let's locate your comrade."

"Oh, she won't be hard to find." Hinode grinned.

"Whaddya mean?" Duo asked, eyebrow cocked.

"If she's not pressed up against the speaker in the Rave," Sora said with a smirk, "She'll be crowd surfing in the Mosh Pit down stairs."

"Why the speaker?" Quatre asked, blue eyes wide and innocent.

"She says it helps her clear her head." Hinode shrugged, "Stress reliever."

"Okay." Duo said, clapping his hands together, "Me'n Sora will take th' Mosh Pit. You guys scope out the Rave."

"Report back here in ten minutes whether or not you have found her." Quatre said officiously.

"Agreed." Sora and Hinode nodded.

Somewhere in the club, Akane sneezed violently.

* * *

At the bar, Heero, Trowa and Wufei were already plowed (WHO IN THEIR RIGHT MIND GAVE THOSE GUYS MUDSLIDES!) and were getting very, very talkative. 

"Y'know…I ahwaysh thought 'lena hadda tight assh." Heero slurred, snickering perversely.

"Me too. Ah ahwaysh thah' sh'd be a great blow." Trowa replied sloppily.

Wufei lifted his head off the bar, giggling as he stared at his hands.

"I ne'er knew there'er two of'em!" He snorted before collapsing into a fit of laughter.

It was start of a very interesting night.

* * *

(A/N: Duo learns the dangers of the Mosh Pit first hand! Quatre gets...groped? **WHOEVER DID IT'S GONNA DIE!** And Akane's is located! R&R!)

* * *

(1)-Code is an actual, multi-level club in Shinjuku, Japan. 

(2)-Takaomi used to be a member of the Ninth St. Hellcat's Assassination Squad & used his connections to track her down (scary dude)


	8. Of Raves & Mosh Pits: Part 2

(A/N: Hey all! Whoa! So many reviews last chappie! As soon as I get the piccy done, I'll send it out, promise!

**THIS IS MUCHO IMPORTANTE'! PUH-LEEZ READ! **

**I'm thinking of maybe having Akane pair up with one of the G-Boys.**

**I want you, the readers imput on this.**

**Do you think it's a good idea?**

**A bad idea?**

**Tell me what you think.**

And now, On with the fic!)

* * *

"_**Hey Quatre!**_ Don't drift too far away!" Hinode cried, stretching out her hand and gripping his wrist.

"It isn't like I'm trying!" Quatre said sheepishly as Hinode dragged him forward.

"Yeah, I know." Hinode grinned, "But it's uber easy to lose someone in a crowd! Stay close, kay?"

"I'll try." Quatre smiled as she released her grip.

"Now lessee." Hinode said thoughtfully, scanning the faces in the crowd on tiptoe, momentarily ignoring Quatre (this won't last long), "Where…"

Quatre held back a chuckle at how ridiculous she looked.

However, the humor of the moment was soon brought to an end as he felt a hand squeeze his cheeks (and no, I don't mean his face)

Quatre's face filled with color and he emitted a high pitched squeak as the hand continued it's exploration.

* * *

"Nope. I don't see her." Hinode said calmly, turning around. 

She saw the expression on his face.

She also saw the **GUY** feeling him up.

She went from zero to pissed in .00001 seconds (as any Quatre fangirl would)

She grabbed the guy's wrist in her left hand, the knuckles on her right white as she drew it back screaming-

"**_PERRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRVEEEEEEEEERRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRT!_**"

**_-BUH-RAK-_**

He went flying across an occupied table and hit the bar.

This move was taught to both Hinode **AND** Sora for safety purposes by Akane in case there was any head scratching.

Which I doubt.

* * *

Hinode then wrapped Quatre in a bone crushing hug sobbing- 

"**I'M SO _SORRRRRRRYEEEEEEE!_**" she bawled, "**ARE YOU _HURT?_ ARE YOU _SCARRED_ FOR _LIFE?_ DO YOU _HATE_ ME?**"

"In this order." Quatre said serenely, "No. Slightly. And absolutely not."

"Phwew. **AUUGH! _NO!_** and **HOORAY!**" Hinode cheered with a grin.

A truly perplexed expression crossed Quatre's face.

"Just answering your responses in order!" Hinode said, smirking cheekily.

"Oh." Quatre said, "I guess that makes sense."

To himself he thought-

_"Weird girl…but pleasant enough."_

* * *

_-Meanwhile…Downstairs In The Mosh Pit…-_

"**_WHOA!_**" Duo cried, watching in amazement as the bodies crashed, thrashed and hurtled into each other, "Whadd're they tryna do? Kill themselves?"

"No. They're slam dancing." Sora said knowingly as a tattooed skin head launched himself off the top of a speaker and started crowd surfing.

"And yer sayin' we'll find her…**here?**" Duo asked, raising an eyebrow."

"Nope." Sora grinned, grabbing his chin and turning his head in another direction, "Found."

Duo found himself staring at a supine, midnight blue-haired mass being passed hand over hand in his direction.

Akane was set down by a pair of burly, seedy looking guys, who looked more than ready to cop a feel.

Which they did.

Which they paid for dearly a few seconds later.

* * *

Akane had them pressed up against the wall, arms twisted behind their backs in the space that it takes to blink. 

"If you **_ever_** come inta my line of sight again, I…will…**kill you**, you sad **_fucks_**. Ya **get** me?" she snarled.

The nodded quickly, tears in their eyes.

"Akane! Hi!" Sora said happily.

Akane turned and acknowledged her friend for a moment…

…then twisted the oversized perverts arms one last time until she heard the sickeningly satisfying

**_-pop-_**

**_-pop-_**

of their shoulder's dislocating before releasing them.

"Hello yerself." Akane smirked at Sora, ignoring the men as they whimpered in pain.

She regarded Duo coldly.

"Hello freak." Akane snorted.

* * *

Duo scowled. 

He hadn't even done anything yet and she was already ripping him a new one.

He decided to let it go.

"Where're th' rest of'em?" Akane asked, looking around.

"They're still upstairs." Sora supplied as they started for the stairs.

"Where upstairs?" Akane asked sharply.

"At the bar." Duo replied with smirk.

Akane groaned.

"…I…am afraid ta ask…" she muttered, "..can they hold their liquor?"

"Not at all!" Duo grinned toothily.

"Lord have mercy." Akane moaned as they reached the top of the steps where Quatre and Hinode waited.

* * *

"Hey! You found her!" Hinode said happily, "That's good." 

"Hey…you've been…cryin'." Akane said slowly, noting the tears in the corners of her eyes.

Rounding on Quatre, lifting him up by the collar she roared, "**IF YOU TOUCHED HER, SO HELP ME _I'LL-!_**"

"**NONONONO_NO-OO!_**" Hinode shrieked, glomming onto Akane's arm, "**QUATRE **got groped and **_I_** felt horrible cuz **I** was right there and couldn't do anything ta stop it!"

"…oh." Akane said, automatically releasing her grip, causing the blonde Arab to fall on his rear, but not apologizing for her conduct, "Izzat all?"

Hinode and Sora looked ready to smack her.

Quatre looked ready to help.

How dare she make light of that bastard feeling up his ass?

* * *

"Well, whatever." Akane said flippantly, "I need you guys to go and collect the Blitzed Bastards from the bar while me an' girly man here dance." 

"Huh?" Duo blinked, "You mean me?"

Akane nodded.

"Mm-hm." She said tartly, "My date hadta bail, and you're close by. As much as I loathe you, dancing is better with company…even if you can't stand ta look at them."

"Point taken." Duo smirked, "So I guess we're dancing."

"Yuh-huh." Akane nodded bleakly, "Just one song tho'. Damnit. I hate it when Taka and Suu-kun double-team me."

"I hafta admit, for someone like you? This is the ultimate punishment." Duo grinned.

"…did I give you permission to speak?" Akane glared.

"Well excuse me, your majesty." Duo said sarcastically, rolling his eyes.

"Just listen up." She snapped, "If yer gonna touch me at all, keep yer hands on the equator. Go below the southern hemisphere, I kill you."

"I got it. I got it." Duo snorted.

* * *

Sora, Hinode and Quatre had just arrived at the bar and the sight that met their eyes was a little disturbing. 

Girls were hooting and whistling shrilly as Wufei stood on top of the bar, stripping.

He had at least a couple hundred thousand yen shoved in his waistband as he teetered around yelling-

"Wha' goesh next?"

"**_LOSE THE PANTS, HOT STUFF!_**" Sora screeched.

Hinode slapped her across the face.

"**Get ahold of yourself woman!**" she exclaimed.

Heero and Trowa were sobbing in each others arms, ignoring the show only inches away from them.

"An' ah ne'er told'er…how much sh' meansh ta me!" Heero wailed drunkenly, "**_GAWD _AH _LOVE'ER!_**"

"**AH _LOVE_ YA MAN!**" Trowa bawled, "**YER LIKE A _BROTHA_ T' ME!**…_hgk_…**DONCHA TELL _NOBODY!_**...**'R I'LL _KILL YEW_ MAN!**"

_"We've gotta get them out of here."_ Quatre thought worriedly as Wufei began to loose his pants, _"QUICKLY!"_

* * *

Duo and Akane showed up, song over, dance finish. 

Akane looked furious.

Duo looked as though his jaw might be broken.

"I'm tellin' ya it **_wasn't_ me!**" he cried through his swollen lips.

"Oh yeah **_RIGHT!_**" Akane snarled, "Like you **DIDN'T** cop a feel!"

"**I _DIDN'T_**" Duo hollered, maintaining his innocence.

"If he says he didn't, he didn't." Quatre said sharply, "Now would you **PLEASE** help me?"

Akane harrumph-ed and ignored him.

"Please Akane?" Sora begged.

"Please?" Hinode whined.

A defeated look crossed Akane's face.

* * *

-Later…- 

"God, these 'tards are heavy sloshed." Akane grumbled, lugging Heero and Trowa through the door on her back.

Duo refused to help because of the whole, "Mistaken Identity" thing and instead, nursed his jaw the entire way home.

Sora and Hinode had home their own way, promising to return the clothes later.

Quatre carried Wufei, looking exhausted.

The hammered China man had tried to blow out of the Taxi three times on the way home.

Akane dumped the pair carelessly on the floor and stalked towards the stairs.

"Where you off to now?" Duo asked, a questioning look on his face.

Akane glared viciously at him.

"**BED _PERVERT!_**" she bellowed, stomping up the stairs so hard, the entire mansion shook (not really; gotta love metaphors)

"Yeesh." Duo grumbled, "Whaddid I do?"

Quatre just shook his head.

* * *

(A/N: Suo has managed to get Akane, Sora and Hinode out of school so they can act as guides for the G-Boys. First stop? You'll just hafta wait until next chappie! R&R!)


	9. Travel Plans

(A/N: Wow! Well it seems by your responses that you like the idea of Akane getting paired up with one of the G-Boys! SO BE IT THEN! And with that little snippit in your heads, ON WITH THE FICCY!)

* * *

Wufei awoke to his head feeling like was trying to split itself in two, a strange pressure on his chest and the knowledge he was only dressed from the waist up. 

"Awake are we?" a cold, female voice snorted, "'bout time, ya lush."

Wufei tried to sit up, only to have himself pushed beck to the floor by the small, female foot on his chest.

Akane's foot.

"I don't suggest ya do that, drunky." Akane drawled, lighting up one of her trademark Mild Seven cigarettes, "Thing One's already givin' his offerin' to th' porcelain god down the hall and Thing Two's offering his prayers to the one further down. I doubtcha could make it up a flight a stairs…"

(A/N: Thing One- Heero; Thing Two- Trowa)

She trailed off, staring at the ceiling.

"But lets see ya try anyway!" Akane grinned wicked, jerking Wufei violently to his feet.

The Chinese Gundam pilot felt his stomach churn like he had gone several rounds on the Zipper (1) as he dashed up the stairs.

* * *

Quatre saw a black haired blur shoot past him and into the bathroom, shutting and locking the door behind it with a click. 

"What in the world?" he blinked, absolutely bewildered until he heard the retching sounds from within.

"Woofer?" Duo asked, coming up behind the blonde Arab, "Y' okay?"

The sound of loud puking was the only response.

"Okay." Duo said, "We'll be downstairs."

"Thank goodness his hair is in a ponytail." Quatre breathed as they walked down the stairs.

"Uh-huh." Duo nodded, "The only one man enough ta hold your hair and watch you puke is a mom."

* * *

Akane was in the kitchen reading the newspaper and drinking coffee with her cigarette hand. 

How she managed to avoid getting ash in her latte' was a mystery.

Quatre saw the time on the wall clock behind her.

7:43 A.M.

"Um…aren't you late for school?" he asked tentatively.

Focused on her reading, she absentmindedly shook her head.

"Mm-mm." She murmured, turning the page, "Got two weeks off."

"Huh?" Duo blinked in surprised, "When did that happen?"

_-pwik…pwikpwik-_

"While we were out." Akane growled, trying to focus on her reading, doing her best to block them out.

"Who called in for you?" Quatre inquired curiously, "Was it Takaomi? Or was it Suo?"

_-pwikpwikpikpwikpwik-_

"S-S-Suo." Akane managed, trying not to rip the newspaper in half out of rage that was currently spider-webbing its way throughout her body.

"Huh…why'd he do that?" Duo asked.

**_-SNAP-_** (Bye-bye Akane's patience! Bye-Bye!)

Faster than you can spell "P.M.S." (which stands for, **P**ass **M**e my **S**hotgun), Akane was beating Duo over the head with the rolled-up newspaper she had been reading only seconds before.

"**WOULD YOU SHOW SOME _COURTESY_ AND _SHUDDUP_ WHEN SOMEONE'S _READIN'_ YA UNBUHLIEVABLE _ASS?_**" She screamed, "**YAP YAP YAP YAP YAP YAP _YAP!_ THAT'S ALL YOU _EVER _DO! _DAMMIT!_ WHERE'S YOUR _OFF BUTTON!_**"

In the next room, Mannen tsked.

"Damn…she wins." he grumbled.

"I guess she **CAN** go for two minutes without beatin' th' tar out of'em." Takaomi nodded.

* * *

_-One Hour Later…-_

Akane was sitting on the couch in Takaomi's lap, Takaomi himself employing the same method of restraint as implemented in chapter 16of **I.H.E.A.Y.B.W.J.L.Y.**

She looked twelve different kinds of pissed while Kazuo petted her hair as Mannen and Suo explained what was to happen in the next two weeks and what role she was to play.

"Alright, gents." Suo smiled, pointing to his youngest sibling, "Here's the plan! What are your dreams? Where are some places you've wanted to go? Some things you've wanted to do but never had the time?"

"As long as they aren't too fantastical, we'll make it happen!" Mannen grinned, "With the help of your Fairy Godmother, Monke-!"

**_-FWUD-_**

"What was **THAT?**" Akane snarled, statuary still in hand.

"I mean Akane!" Mannen snickered sarcastically, holding his head.

Takaomi extracted the now fractured statue from her hand and restrained her arms again.

"Now, now." Takaomi scolded, "No killing family."

Akane then eyed Wufei and Trowa.

Takaomi caught her bloodlusty stare and shook his head smirking.

"Not them either." He said quickly.

She shifted her gaze to Quatre.

"Or him, Shorty." Kazuo sighed.

She moved her gaze to Duo and Heero.

"Give it up, Thunder Thighs." Takaomi smirked.

Akane scowled up at him through sulky lilac eyes.

"You're no fun at all, Shrek." She grumbled.

"Shove it." Kazuo snorted up at her (he's sitting on the floor)

* * *

"So, what's up first boys?" Suo asked. 

"Yeah, whaddya wanna do first?" Mannen asked.

"New Zealand." Quatre said quickly.

The rest of the G-Boys stared at him, causing the blonde Arab to blush.

"W-well it's just that…its just I…" Quatre stammered, "I've always wanted to go swimming there. And wind surfing always looked...interesting, and-"

Takaomi grinned and held up a hand.

"Save your breath!" he chuckled.

"No need for explanations!" Kazuo laughed, "Okay! First stop is New Zealand. What's next?"

"**_Ireland!_**" Duo whooped, "Gotta visit me some breweries!"

"Now that's a trip I **fully** intend ta tag along on!" Mannen smirked.

"Same here!" Suo snickered.

"Don't forget about us!" Takaomi and Kazuo grinned.

Akane would never admit it, but she was inwardly doing a dance at the prospects of going hog wild in an Irish brewery (Hide yer hops laddies!)

* * *

"Alrighty." Takaomi smiled, "And after Ireland?" 

"Paris." Trowa murmured, "There are some art galleries I'd like to visit."

_"And some wineries I'd like to visit."_ Akane thought to herself, _"After two weeks with you, I'm gonna be thankful I'm legal over there…and even if I wasn't…it's not like it's gonna slow me down any."_

(A/N: Actually, the legal drinking age in France is 16, Akane, in case you forgot, which it appears you did!)

"Sounds fair enough." Suo nodded, "Heero? Anywhere you wanna go?"

"…Madagascar." He muttered.

"Cool idea!" Kazuo cried.

"**Saf_aaaaaa_ri!**" Mannen whooped.

"…dorks." Akane snorted.

"'kay, Wu-man!" Duo grinned, "That leaves you! Wheredya wanna go?"

Wufei looked thoughtful and tapped his chin.

"Switzerland." Wufei responded.

"Gotta skiing jones?" Takaomi snickered.

Wufei pinkened slightly.

"What **_of_** it?" he snapped.

"Nothing…nothing…" Mannen taunted.

"…retard." Akane grumbled snidely in Takaomi's grip.

* * *

"So it's settled then." Suo said, clapping his hands together, "Akane will act as apersonal assistantof sorts when you go to the countries of your choice. She will ensure you get what you need, when you need it." 

"**NOW HOLD _ON_ A MINUTE!**" Akane cried, "I'm in th' middle of a huge turf war with that cheap whore, **_Genbu!_** I can't just **leave!** Besides, if you expect me to bend and scrape to these Animanga **_FREAKSHOWS_**, then think **again**, **_dipshit!_**"

"You won't be alone, ya know." Takaomi said with a grin.

"**THAT'S _BESIDES_ THE _POINT!_**" she shrieked.

"It's not like you'd be forced to act like a servant." Mannen smiled, ruffling her hair.

Akane glared.

"Don't you ever speak of that bitch again." She spat. (her mom: abusive slut)

"It was an accident, Monkey." Suo smiled, "Forgive him."

Akane stuck her tongue out at him.

"**BLEH!** Don't **_wanna!_**" she said childishly.

The G-Boys exchanged looks.

The trip hadn't even started yet and it was already felt like they had jet lag.

"Let the fun begin." Duo grinned.

* * *

_-Later That Day...-_

"Oh **WOW!**" Sora squealed as the plane passed over the crystal clear waters, "It's soooooo pretty!"

"I can-**_NOT_** believe we're here!" Hinode squealed, "Suo's never spoiled us like **THIS** before!"

"**_YOU_** call it spoiling." Akane grumbled, "I call it torture."

"Why're you sucha downer?" Duo asked, raising an eyebrow.

"Why're you sucha retard?" Akane growled back.

"Downer."

"Retard."

"**Downer!**"

"**_RETARD!_**"

"**DOWNER!**"

Growling ferally, Akane ground her lit cigarette outon Duo hand.

"**_YAYAYAAAUGH!_**" He yelped, blowing on his hand frantically.

"I'm aiming for your eye next." she snarled.

"Duo-chan!" Hinode cried.

"Are you okay?" Sora asked tearfully.

"Aww, I'll be okay!" Duo grinned.

_"I knew it."_ Akane snorted, watching as the braided pilot of Gundam Deathscythe played it off like she DIDN'T just put out her cigarette on the back of his hand,_"Whadda drama queen."_

**_-DNN-_**

"Passangers, please fasten your seat belts." the pilot of Suo's private jet said pleasantly, "We will be landing in Auckland shortly."

Quatre's eyes sparkled with anticipation.

"New Zealand...here we are."

* * *

(A/N: Quatre tries wind surfing. Wufei goes Para sailing! Akane shirks off in her duties and The G-Boys see Akane scars for the first time! R&R)

* * *


	10. New Zealand, HO!

(A/N: Hey all! Shinigami-chan, working hard to working in a pairing I think will work next chappie! With that in mind, ONWARD AND UPWARD PEEPS!)

* * *

"Wow!" Hinode cried, "This place is **GREAT!**" 

"Go Q-chan! **_GO!_**" Sora cheered.

"Would you two **STUFF IT?**" Akane snapped.

If you haven't guessed by now, yes, they've landed safely in Auckland, New Zealand.

And by safely? I mean Akane didn't manage to shoot a hole in the fuselage.

Quatre was currently attempting wind surfing for the first time and was fairing rather well…

…until Duo crossed his path and the two hurtled into the air and splashed into the water head first, almost taking out a small group of swimmers as they did so.

"**_DUO!_**" Sora shrieked, leaping off her beach towel.

"**Q-CHAN!**" Hinode screamed, sloshing over to the pseudo-conscious Arab.

"**_ARE YOU ALRIGHT?_**" They cried simultaneously, hugging the barely cognizant pilots close to their bathing suit clad forms.

"_They're fakin' it."_ Akane thought to herself, without looking up from the book she was reading (Stephen King's Rose Red)

* * *

She was currently clad, unlike her friends, in a flowered sarong over hot shorts and a white button up tied in a knot over a string bikini top. 

She was wearing flip-flops.

She was beneath a beach umbrella.

Wearing sunglasses.

_'I have no intention of swimming today'_ is what her demeanor screamed.

Which left her in the lurch as the rest of the G-Boys had dashed into the water the instant they had finished setting up.

Except for Trowa, who insisted on being a pain in her ass and staying behind.

He was calmly reading over her shoulder, twanging on her last nerve.

Akane being Akane, could only put up with this for so long.

So long turned out to be one minute and twelve seconds.

* * *

Akane threw down "Rose Red" in the sand beside her beach towel and whirled around to face the stoic pilot of Heavy Arms. 

"**What?**" she snarled, "What is so **_life-threateningly_** important that you **insist** on hovering over me?"

Trowa shrugged.

"I merely wished to know what you were reading." He said.

"Then **_ASK_**, **RETARD!**" Akane snapped.

"Given your attitude towards me and my comrades, I had no guarantee you would answer." Trowa said calmly.

Akane snorted and lit a cigarette.

"Don't be a smartass!" she growled.

* * *

"**_Hey!_**" Sora cried, glomming onto her, nearly causing the gang leader to singe her hand, "How come you're not swimmin'?" 

"I don't want people staring." Akane said, taking a drag.

"Staring at what?" Duo asked, striding up, "Your rack?"

**_-FWOK-_**

"**SHITSHIT_SHIT!_**" Duo hissed, gripping his head in his hands.

Akane had just lobbed a nearby rock at his skull.

"No, you **PERV**." Akane snarled, "My **_back! _**I don't **like** people **_staring_** at my **back!**"

"What about your back would cause them to stare?" Quatre asked, naturally curious.

"That's **_right!_**" Hinode said, wrapping her arms around the blonde teen, "You guys haven't seen Aka-chan's back yet, have you?"

"And they never **will** if I have my way about it." Akane growled, gripping her shirt sleeves defensively.

"Come on Aka!" Sora smiled, "It's not that ba…okay so it is that bad. But it's just like pulling offa Bandaid!"

"You only say that becuz it aintcher back." she growled, "What am I, a sideshow freak? If that's the case, where's my money?"

"What's going on?" Heero asked, joining the rapidly growing group, Wufei hot on his heels.

"Oh nothin'!" Hinode grinned.

"We're just tryna get Akane to show you guys her back!" Sora smiled cheekily.

* * *

Akane looked around at the intent stares that were all too easy to read. 

They all said the same thing.

What about this girl's back could be so horrendous?

Akane sighed deeply; defeated.

"If I take off my shirt, just long enough to sicken you guys, will you leave me the fuck alone?" she asked, already untying the knot she had made in the front of the shirt.

They all nodded vigorously.

"Fine then." Akane growled, ripping off the white fabric.

She could practically hear the jaws drop as their eyes met the horrific scars that tore their way across her back in a sadistic spiderweb.

They were as thick, ropey, long and repulsive as always.

They wove in no discernable pattern, crossing over one another, often more than once, up to her shoulders, around her hips, disappearing below her sarong and bikini hem.

Their eyes burned her as they made their way across her skin, tracing them.

Her face burned as they continued to stare.

"_Godammit, do they HAFTA be s' DAMN entranced by it?"_ she growled internally.

She decided they had seen enough.

She pulled her shirt back on.

"There." Akane snapped, retying the knot, "You've had your fun. Now leave me the hell alone, assholes."

She stormed across the beach, the scars still visible through a bare strip of skin between shirt and sarong.

* * *

"Well…no wonder she didn't wanna swim." Duo said brightly. 

"Well obviously." Wufei growled.

"What?" Duo said, "I'm just tryna put a happy face on things!"

"This coming from **The God of Death**?" Quatre chuckled, ending his sentence in english.

Duo stuck his tongue out at the blonde.

"Aw, shove it!" he snickered good naturedly.

"Well, what should we do?" Trowa murmured.

"Should we follow her?" Heero muttered.

"Nah." Sora said, shaking her head, "Let her cool off for awhile."

"Unless you're willing to risk death." Hinode added.

* * *

Akane muttered under her breath, hissing profanities so venomous it made the local mother's cover their children's ears. 

She ran into someone.

Whoever that someone was was gonna die.

Akane glared up…**_Up_**…**UP!** at a African American man two feet taller than herself (she's 5' 2"; do the math) that she was all too familiar with.

"…**Domino…whaddre you doin' here?**" she asked listlessly in easy English, anger dissipating in favor of mild irritation at the sight of her bodyguard.

"**Doing my job, Miss Kakyoin.**" Domino (his real name is ((BLEEP!)) D:HEY! You trynaget me killed, woman?)replied, adjusting his mirrored sunglasses.

"**Kuh!**" Akane snorted, taking a hit off her cancer stick, "**Suo's sucha mother hen! I swear ta god!**"

"**Mr. Miyazaki has instructed me to see to it that you are in-**" Domino was cut off by Akane holding up her hand.

"**-in the company of those Freaks at all times.**" she growled back, massaging her temples, "**I know…I know.**"

* * *

"Well whaddya guys wanna do now?" Sora asked. 

"Parasailing."

"Akane!" Hinode grinned, "That was quick!"

"And you brought a friend!" Sora smiled, "Hi Domino-san!"

Duo was speechless, jaw agape as he craned his neck upward to stare into the giant man's face.

"Close your mouth, Frogger." Akane snorted.

Heero swiftly palmed the braided pilot's mouth shut, causing his teeth to clack together.

"**_OWUCH!_**" he cried.

"…anyway, Freaks? This is Domino, my bodyguard. **Domino? These're the Freaks.**" Akane sighed, finishing the sentence in English.

"Good to know you, I'm sure." He nodded, speaking in fluent Japanese.

"Likewise!" Quatre said smiling, he turned his gaze on Akane, "Now, you said you wanted to go parasailing?"

"No. I said I'm gonna take **YOU** guys parasailing." Akane smirked, "For the next two hours, each of you freaks are gonna take turns bein' my personal kite!"

The G-Boys exchanged nervous looks.

"Her?" Duo mumbled, "Behind the wheel of a speedboat?"

"And us attached to the back by nothing more than a few measly cables?" Heero murmured.

"I'm worried." Quatre muttered, "Definitely worried."

* * *

_-Fifteen Minutes Later…-_

"**_WHOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOA!_**" Wufei cried, gripping the straps of the parachute so tightly his knuckles were turning white, "**TAKE ME _DOWN!_ TAKE ME _DOWN!_ LOWER! _LOWER!_**"

"What was **that?**" Akane laughed, "**_Higher_** you say? But of **COURSE!** Who am I to deny **_YOU?_**"

The Leader of the Hellcats Assassination Squad (yeah, she rejoined) cackled malevolently as she stomped on the gas and twisted the steering wheel violently to port (left).

"Look at him go." Trowa said, mild amusement lacing his voice.

"**ME NEXT!**" Duo cried, "**_I'M_ NEXT, DYA _HEAR?_**"

"After me, Maxwell." Heero said coolly.

"**What?**" Duo cried in disbelief.

"**_WUFEI!_**" Quatre yelled, "**JUST HANG IN THERE, OKAY?**"

"Akane, stop!" Sora cried.

"Yeah, he's had enough!" Hinode said, watching nervously as the Gundam pilot's face began to turn a pasty shade of greenish gray.

Domino placed a rather large hand on her thin shoulder and gave a nod.

Pouting a little, Akane brought the boat back around to the dock.

* * *

"Ah-Alright." Wufei burped, looking very queasy, "I don't care…what any of you say. She goes next." 

Akane smirked maliciously.

"Whaddever you say…freak." She sang tauntingly, strapping herself into the parachute.

Diablo got behind the wheel of the boat and tore away from the dock.

He turned wildly, making the boat leap over it's own breakwater.

Akane, seeing her chance to get away, undid the leg restraints that held her to the boat with a sharp yank, sending her flying skyward.

"**SMELL YA LATER_ LOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOSERRS!_**" She laughed, disappearing behind a cloud bank.

"Well I'll be damned." HInode whistled.

"Somebody's in trouble." Sora chuckled, taking in the panicked expression she recalled from childhood filling the African American ma's face.

* * *

(A/N: The search is on for Akane! Where in New Zealand will sheturn up? WHO will find her? And...what's this? And unexpected plot twist? R&R!) 


	11. What's THIS?

(A/N: Hey all! Shinigami Goumon here! A little sad! Only one review last chapter. But oh well! ONWARD AND UPWARD PEEPS!)

* * *

Akane set down in an open field and quickly unstrapped herself, abandoning the parachute, whistling tunelessly as she went.

_"Now…what to do first?"_ she thought to herself as she strode in no particular direction.

The skies were blue.

The flowers were in bloom.

She had her cigarettes.

The freaks were long behind her.

Life was fantastic.

Then she heard it.

Music.

Soft music with a fast, pulsating tempo that was rapidly growing louder.

"Ooo….good beat!" she grinned, dashing off in the direction of the rhythm.

* * *

"Yes…yes that's right sir." Domino said in fast, officious English over a com device. 

"…"

"No sir." Domino sighed, "She pulled a 007 on me. I was completely in the dark."

"…"

"Yes sir." Domino said with a nod, "Thank you sir."

"I take it by the expression on your face you aren't in trouble?" Trowa remarked.

"No." the black man sighed deeply, obviously very relieved, "He merely told me to locate Miss Kakyoin as soon as I am able."

"Lucky duck!" Sora smiled, "Want help?"

"We know Aka-chan best after all." Hinode grinned.

"That would be wonderful." Domino said gratefully.

"You'll help too, right?" Sora asked the G-Boys.

"Count me in!" Duo grimaced, "Gotta get her back for that rock to the konk."

"I'll help too." Quatre smiled.

Hinode squealed in delight and glommed onto him.

"You're **SUCHA** gentleman!" she cried.

Quatre flamed red.

* * *

Trowa gave a slight inclination of the head, implying that he was in. 

Heero nodded silently.

"I, too, will assist you." Wufei murmured, "If only to deliver swift justice upon that vile woman!" (Someone's a little pissy! Does he have cramps?)

"Now then, first things first!" Sora sang happily, "We ask the locals!"

"If they've seen her?" Duo asked, confused.

"Oh **_hell_** no!" Hinode laughed, "About music festivals and outdoor concerts!"

"As you've already seen, Akane loves to dance." Hinode smiled, "So that's the best place to start!"

"After that, check gun and knife shops." Duo snickered.

"**NOW** you're thinking!" Sora cried, clapping her hands together happily.

Duo's eyes widened slightly.

Wufei nudged him with his elbow.

"I thought you were kidding." He whispered.

"So did I." the braided boy chuckled, "Apparently not."

* * *

"Wow…The Auckland Dance Festival, huh?" Hinode grinned, "If ever there was a chance of find Aka, this is it!" 

"Hey, isn't that that Jamaican artist Akane's so fond of?" Sora asked, "Oh, what was his name…Sean Paul?"

"I think you're right." Hinode said merrily, a smile spreading across her face.

The bodies all around them twisted, turned and writhed to the rhythm of **_"We Be Burnin'"_**.

It was as if the song itself had transformed the entire assembly of people into decent dancers.

"Alright." Domino said sternly, not the least bit distracted, "We'll split up. Maxwell and Yuy? You go that way."

He pointed towards the stage were Sean Paul was taking his bows and changing up with Shakira.

"No prob." Duo grinned.

"Yes sir." Heero nodded.

The two took off.

"Aoki and Winner? You go that way." Doino said dictatorially, pointing to the right of the stage.

"Got it!" Sora cheered.

"On our way." Quatre smiled as the two disappeared amidst the masses of bodies.

"Sakai and Barton?" the 7' 2" bodyguard stated officiously, "You go that way."

"You got it!" Hinode cried.

Trowa smiled ever so slightly and nodded as they executed a vanishing act worthy of a circus performer.

"Chang? That leaves you with me." Domino said, adjusting his mirrored lenses again.

"Mm." Wufei nodded.

* * *

_-Fifteen Minutes Later…-_

"Any luck?" Domino asked, clearly exhausted.

"None." Was the group wide response.

"I can't believe it." Sora cried, "We scoured the entire grounds but no sign of her!"

"Umm…guys?" Duo said carefully.

"This is madness." Wufei growled, "How difficult could it be to locate one girl?"

"Guys?" Duo asked again, a little more urgently this time.

"I just don't understand it." Hinode mumbled, "She should BE here!"

"**_Guys?_**" Duo said again, growing a little impatient now.

"I'm gonna be fired." Domino moaned, burying his head in his hands.

"**GUYS!**" Duo shouted, finally gaining their attention.

"What Maxwell?" Heero growled.

"Yes, what is it?" Quatre asked.

Duo pointed.

"She's over there." He said huffily, pointing onstage.

* * *

They turned to follow his finger. 

"He's right." Wufei said, a note of mild surprise in his voice.

Trowa nodded.

Akane was currently dancing, eyes closed, completely enthralled by an Indian/Arabic song called **_"Kiss Kiss"_**, oblivious (or seemingly so) to the infuriated Domino who was currently making his way towards the stage, knocking down several dancers, food stands and souvenir stands as he went.

The G-Boys watched the spectacle, snickering quietly, while Sora and Hinode watched Akane dance.

"She eez quite good, yes?" a female voice beside them said, stating it as a fact, rather than a n actual question.

"Huh?" Duo blinked, pinkening because he had been watching Domino's rampage and had no idea what this woman was talking about, "Y-yeah."

"Sure." Wufei nodded, trying to play off the fact that he too, was watching Domino make a fool of himself.

"Whatever." Heero muttered, not even pretending.

"So forgeeve mah rudenass." The woman curtsied, Sora and Hinode followed suit by bowing, "Ah am Chloe Kakyoin. A pleazure to meet chu."

* * *

Everyone's eyes went wide. 

"D-did you just say…Kakyoin?" Hinode asked.

"Oui!" the woman known as Chloe smiled, "Ah am 'eere weeth mah 'uhsband, Aogi Kakyoin. We ah' leaving foh Paris een zeh mohneeng."

_"AOGI?"_ Sora thought wildly, _"That's Akane's DAD'S NAME!"_

_"OHHH, I hope to GOD they don't meet!"_ Hinode moaned internally, _"Akane swore she'd kill'em if she ever met'em. And his new wife is such a nice lady."

* * *

_

Domino was back, red in the face and sporting a black eye and a split lip.

"Where is she?" Duo demanded to know.

"She got away again!" Domino cried out angrily, "She screamed, **_'"RAPIST! RAPIST! SOMEBODY HELP ME!"'_** snatched my sunglasses, and escaped in all the confusion!"

"You've **GOT** to be **_KIDDING_** me!" Wufei cried.

"Oh dear." Quatre said worriedly.

* * *

Akane leaned back in the driver's seat of the car she had "borrowed", the "loaned" sunglasses shielding her eyes as she hummed along with the radio. 

"Where to now?" she asked the sky, before breaking into the chorus of the song.

"**_Don't let nobody tell you, your life is over,  
Be every color that you are,  
Into the rush now,  
You don't have to know how,  
Know it all before you'll try._**"

* * *

They parted ways with Chloe and resumed searching for the gun toting livewire.

"Whaddya think?" Sora whispered, "Dya really think she coulda been married to Aka's-?"

"Welllll..." Hinode trailed off, "Kakyoin isn't exactlythe mostcommon surname, so..."

"Could we focus?" Wufei snapped, "We're looking for your friend idiots!"

Sora and Hinode teared up.

"You're **MEEEEEEAN!**" They sobbed.

"Woofer, quit being sucha tight ass, wouldja?" Duo said good naturedly.

"Please don't cry!" Quatre begged, patting their heads.

Wufei turned to Trowa and Heero.

"Why is everyone always mad at **_ME?_**" he cried.

Heero shrugged.

Trowa patted the Chinese boy's head.

* * *

(A/N: Is the Kakyoin Aogi Chloe spoke of REALLY Akane's dad? And speaking of which,where'd she get to now? R&R!) 


	12. The Bet

(A/N: HEY! Shinigami-chan here! Nuff chit chat! YOU READ NOW!)

(Should Angel: ...wow...someone has control issues.)

(Shoulder Devil: Shut it ya airy fairy.)

(S.A.: WAAAAAAH!)

* * *

Akane gaze through the glass with a look of childlike adulation.

Her lilac eyes sparkled at the sight of the firearms, lovingly polished and laid out on velvet lined stands behind the translucent glass.

She was in that store like white on rice with a glass of milk in an albino's mouth in a snowstorm.

"Oh wow…Akane said, admiration filling her voice as she took in every inch of the rifle, "The workmanship on this 30 aught is fantastic!"

Another firearm caught her eye and she shot over to it.

"Oh **MAN!**" She cried, eyes flashing excitedly, "An original S&W! The First American made model! **_HEEE!_** You can **NEVER** find these anymore!"

"It's nice to see a girl who knows her guns." An elderly voice said smirkingly.

Akane glanced up and grinned at the old man standing behind the counter.

"Firearms, explosives and weaponry are my forte." She smiled, "You're guns are so well cared for. This is a rare thing for me to say, but I am impressed."

"Thank you kindly." He grinned. "So…what's your make? Personally, I go for H&K."

"I've always been a Taurus girl myself." Akane said eagerly.

* * *

Heero's eyes gleamed lustfully at the firearms establishment Akane was currently within. 

So…many…

Duo saw that look and knew what it meant.

"Down boy." He chuckled, patting the Perfect Soldier's head.

"…you're drooling Heero." Wufei said, voice dripping with disdain.

Quatre laughed quietly into his hand as Trowa wiped away the thin line of saliva with a handkerchief.

Domino was already making his way over to the building, stealthily this time.

He pressed himself up against a car.

Sora could not help herself.

She began singing/humming the 007 "I'm-A-Sneaky-Spy" background music.

* * *

"Doo-deh-deh-doo-doo!" she sang softly as Domino shot across the street, "Doo-deh-doo-deh-doo-doo!" 

Hinode heard her and began to snicker.

Duo just stared at them.

Being from another dimension, he failed to see what was so funny.

Domino pressed himself against the outside of the gun shop, and without any warning, kicked the door in.

"I **_FINALLY_** found you Miss Kakyoin!" he growled.

"Shit." Akane grumbled.

"Friend of yours?" the shopkeeper asked.

"More like a permanent pain in the ass." Akane moaned as Domino latched onto her arm and dragged her out of the store, "Personally implanted by my **dear**…**_sweet_**…**brother.**"

* * *

Upon seeing that Akane had been found (-koff-captured-koff-), Wufei and Duo decide settle their business with her right then and there. 

They were on her faster than you can say "**_WHOASHIT!_**"

"Alright." Duo said, "What's th' deal?"

"Apologize." Wufei growled, "Or I shall see to it that you suffer all the torments of hell."

Akane smirked at them maliciously.

"In this order." She sneered, "Number One? None a yer **DAMN** business. And Number Two? Sounds fun."

Duo's jaw dropped.

He could not…buh-lieve…her nerve.

Wufei took several quick steps away from the midnight blue-haired teen.

"It really makes you wonder why Hideki stayed with her." Sora sighed.

* * *

"Hideki?" Duo gaped, "Waaaait...you don't mean t' tell me...**_SHE_** hadda **BOYFRIEND?**" 

"That's a lie." Wufei snorted.

Akane glared at them in a way that would have made lesser men piss themselves.

"Just because you don't find me attractive, doesn't mean others don't." she snarled.

"Chyeah right." Duo laughed.

"Prove it." Wufei snorted haughtily.

A strange look passed over Akane's face before her lips broke into a poisonous grin.

"Fine." she smirked, "But…let's make this a little more interesting freaks."

"Oh?" Duo raised an eyebrow.

"Elaborate." Quatre pressed her, getting interested.

* * *

"I bet you…that I can round up a date faster than you losers." Akane grinned wickedly, "The loser has to be the winner's slave for the remainder of the trip. Whaddya say?" 

"I say you're on!" Duo smirked, "But just how will we know who's won?"

"Walkie talkies, naturally." Akane said, rolling her eyes, "God, whadda dumbass."

Duo twitched.

Ooo, she was gonna get it one of these days.

Girl or not.

"I never back down from a challenge." Wufei growled, "Count me in woman."

"Heero's out!" Sora called.

"Yeah!" Hinode said defensively, "He's with Relena!"

"Um…I suppose it could be fun." Quatre murmured, "Trowa? Will you be participating?"

Trowa looked at the blond Arab and gave a slight inclination of the head.

"Miss Kakyoin…" Domino growled.

Akane patted the over tall man's arm.

"Chill." She said, "I promise on my title as Byakko that I'll be at Club Raro at eight o'clock sharp, 'kay?"

Domino sighed tiredly, released his grip and nodded.

Akane grinned sadistically at the G-Boys.

"See ya at eight." She snickered, darting around a corner and disappearing.

* * *

"You guys are in truh-bull." Hinode sighed, shaking her head. 

"Huh?" Wufei asked, face blank.

"Whaddyou mean?" Duo asked.

"I mean that whenever she **_WANTS_** to…**'wants'** being the key word here…" Sora grumbled, "…Akane canamp up the charm."

"Yeah." Hinode nodded, "You guys are fine cuz she hates your guts, but any other guy had better watchhis back."

The color drained from Duo's face.

"Y-you're kiddin'…right?" He asked weakly.

They shook their heads.

"Uh-uh."

"I refuse to believe it." Wufei snapped.

Sora and Hinode exchanged looks.

"…come on." They sighed, taking off in the direction Akane had gone.

* * *

Akane scanned the streets. 

_"A lot of potential targets."_ She noted, observing the wide variety of handsome, cute, pretty, gorgeous and hot boys (Hey! What are they? Produce?)

She spotted a very likely candidate.

One who she could tell from a single glance was all looks and no brains.

The type to not ask too many questions.

Perfect arms for cuddling, too.

And to top it all off, no girlfriend (or boyfriend) in sight.

* * *

The G-Boys watched as Akane made her move. 

"Here we go." Sora smiled, "Now you'll see."

Quatre observed as Akane tapped the taller boy on the shoulder.

Duo watched in amazement as they shared a brief conversation.

Wufei watched in disbelief as the boy began to blush.

Duo's jaw dropped as Akane actually (**_DUN DUN DUNNN_**) smiled...for **REAL!**

Quatre grinned at their stunned expressions and continued to watch.

Only seconds later Akane buzzed into their walkie talkies.

**-("Mission accomplished, Animanga Freaks slash_ looooosers._")-** She taunted.

Duo's face was contorted in shock as the unknown boy wrapped his arm around Akane's thin shoulders as the two walked off.

* * *

"How…could we lose…to her?" Wufei mumbled. 

"Shuh-she takes all contests suh-suh-seriously!" Hinode howled, rolling with laughter, "She has a competitive streak a mile wide!"

Trowa looked very amused.

Quatre was already climbing to his feet.

"Whadd're you doing, Q-man?" Duo asked dully, still very much in shock that **_ANY_** sane person could find that girl attractive.

"To find a date." Quatre smiled, "I don't know about the rest of you, but the idea of being Akane's slave isn't really to my liking. If you'll excuse me."

Quatre disappeared without another word.

* * *

"Oh **CRAP!**" Duo cried, leaping to his feet, snapping out of his daze. 

"Shit." Wufei growled, dashing off.

Trowa merely stared after them.

He looked from Hinode to Sora.

"It seems…they've forgotten the fact…that you yourselves are girls." He said evenly.

The two nodded and sighed.

"Would you be my dates then?" he asked calmly.

They instantly brightened.

"Of **_COURSE _**we will!" they squealed, glomming onto him.

Heero looked at him.

He shook his head and smirked.

"Tooo easy."

* * *

(A/N: The Fun in New Zealand Comes to a close. Up next: Ireland! R&R!)


	13. Speak No Evil,Hear No Evil,See No Evil

(A/N: Ok. I'm pissed. VERRRRRRRRRRRY pissed. I just got an email that flamed me to high heaven! It said, and I quote, "What th' HELL? We know absolutely nothin' about Akane except th' fact that she's a royal BITCH!" Well, fine then! In this chappie, I'm including many of the details of Akane's past. So if your not in the mood to be depressed, skip this chappie. Not that there aren't funny bits in it! Oh no!In fact the format this time goes like this:

Beginning: FUNNY!

Middle: ANGSTY

End: FUNNY!)

* * *

Quatre, with his good manners and boyish looks, was easily able to score a date within a matter of seconds. 

His date was a girl named Emily and was good mannered and fun loving.

Wufei, cursing all the while, had equal success.

And while it could be said that his date Rosaria had the brain of a walnut and the attention span of a goldfish, she made up for it with good looks.

Duo was the last one to get a date, and therefore, the loser.

His date, a girl named Sharona, was easy going and fun, but that still didn't sweeten the fact that he was gonna hafta bend and scrape to Akane for the remainder of the trip.

"Damn it all." He grumbled.

"What the matter, Duo-baby?" she asked, grinning.

"Nothin'…nothin'." He sighed.

* * *

Akane and her date, a boy named Adrian, were currently wrapped on a bench… "getting to know each other", when Akane's cell rang. 

Pushing the taller boy with relative easy (and surprising the crap out of him) she flipped open the Razr and pressed the talk button, knowing immediately who it was by the familiar ringtone.

"I'm listenin'." She drawled, folding her legs, "Wazzup Suu-kun?"

**_-"Monkey, you're never gonna believe this!"-_** Suo said excitedly, **_-"I was tinkering around again, wondering to my self, 'Hmm…if the remote works on the T.V., will it work on DVD's too?' So I picked out the right DVD, fast forwarded to where we left off and-!"-_**

"Suo, take a breath." Akane growled.

**_-"-and it worked! The G-Boys we're still gone!"- _**Suo cried excitedly, _**-"And that wasn't the freakiest part!"-**_

"The freakiest…part?" Akane asked slowly, "And that would be…?"

_**-"I'll have Relena showya when she gets there."-**_ Suo cheered excitedly, **_-"She's on her way now!"-_**

"**WHAT?**" Akane roared, making Adrian jump.

**_-"Later sis!"-_** Suo sang, laughing at his sister sputtering over the phone as he hung up.

Akane was shaking, her grip dangerously tight on the phone, head bowed and hair concealing her face…good thing, too.

Because if Adrian had seen the look on her face at that moment, he would have packed his bags and hopped the first flight for Antarctica.

She took a deep breath, trying to quell the un**SPEAKABLE _RAGE _**she was feeling.

Fat chance of that.

* * *

_-Later…At Club Raro…-_

Akane waited at the bar with the rest of the G-Boys and their dates, looking vexed.

She had abandoned Adrian at the park, saying, "…I'll call you...(under her breath) on a cold day in Hell."

Upon the arrival of Relena Peacecraft, Heero's mood took an immediate upswing (for him).

And while the G-Boy's were hoping to enjoy a night of dancing, fate (and the authoress) had other plans.

Relena, after giving Heero a quick hug and a kiss, informed them that they would be returning to the hotel.

"**Whaaaaat?**" Duo whined after being forced to part ways with his date, "But **_whyyyy?_**"

"Because, there is something you need to see." Relena said excitedly, in a very un-Relena-ish way, "It's almost too fantastic for me to believe myself!"

Duo looked at Quatre, who answered him a shrug and a smile.

"This is gonna be good!" Sora said happily, "I can tell!"

"Same here!" Hinode cried, "I can't wait."

"I can." Akane growled, "The way my life is going? It can only continue to get worse."

And she couldn't have been more right if she tried.

* * *

Upon their arrival at the hotel, Relena started digging through her travel bag. 

"**Here!**" she said triumphantly, "Take a look at **_THIS!_**"

She whipped out…a DVD.

Sora's eyes widened into saucers.

Hinode let out a gasp.

Akane's jaw dropped and she lost hold of her cancer stick and lighter.

It was labeled: **I STILL Hate Everything About You! (The Long Awaited Sequel To I Hate Everything About You, But WE Just LOVE YOU!)**

And there, right on the cover, in all their animated glory, was Aoki Sora, Sakai Hinode and smack dab in the middle, trusty .425 Casul Taurus Raging Bull Revolver in hand, was Kakyoin Akane.

"Apparently..." Relena smiled, "…in our world? **THEY** are the anime characters!"

"Whoa." Duo whistled as she inserted the DVD in the player, "Too freaky."

"**_AWESOME!_**" Sora and Hinode whooped, hopping onto the couch.

Akane remained silent and leaned against the doorframe, lighting a new cigarette.

* * *

It had reached a point where everyone had gone to bed, leaving Akane's anime self to sleep on the cement floor of the Gundam hanger when she suddenly sat up, raking her hands angrily through her hair and staring out the window with contempt. 

This led to a flashback.

A little girl, no more than two, trembled violently beneath a four poster bed while she choked back tears of pain, blood dripping down her shoulders from multiple stab wounds barely visible in the dark light.

The darkness of the unlit room, devoid of light as her mother had failed to pay the electric bill, made the shadows of the woman who dared to call herself a mother all the more frightening as she past the bed, seeking out her daughter.

"Oh my god…" Hinode croaked.

"It's…it's Aka's…" Sora couldn't get the words out, but it really wasn't necessary.

They all knew what this was.

Akane's most private memories.

Akane's past.

* * *

Another flashback. 

The same girl, only about a year older, about three now, sitting on her front steps by herself looking at a chipmunk in a nearby tree.

Only Akane could have known that the girl was home alone.

Her…mother's…current boyfriend drove by just then, her mother herself in the passenger seat, glaring at her, and the child panicked.

She leapt to her feet and ran inside.

By the time she ran into her room and dove into the closet.

Her mother came in, a fiery anger, fueled by sake', blazing in her eyes.

"**I _THOUGHT_ I _TOLD_ YOU _NEVER_ TO GO _OUTSIDE! _WHERE _ARE_ YOU? _GET OUT OF THAT CLOSET!_**"

The woman proceed to throw the door open and drag the girl out by the hair as she shrieked in pain.

Wufei wondered vaguely why he couldn't unglue his eyes from the screen.

Relena was crying, but couldn't look away, Heero's hand enclosed tightly around hers.

Duo and Quatre were shaking a bit, shocked by it all.

Trowa's eyes we're narrowed; for a brief instant, he looked a touch angry.

* * *

Another flashback. 

The girl was cowering on the couch, rocking back and forth in agony as her mother repeatedly thrashed her across the face and clearly starved body with a tequila bottle as the child tried in vain to shield herself with her twig-like arms.

Yelling at her, screaming, "**WHAT DID I _TELL YA_, YA LITTLE _WHORE?_ YOU _LISTENIN'_ TA _ME!_**"

The child, through tears and blood, continuously nodded cried out, "**Yes ma'am! _Yes ma'am! _Please!**"

"**STOP _SAYING_ THAT!**" She roared, bottle smashing into the girl's cheek again.

_"Why?"_ Sora wondered, tears pouring down her face, _"Why doesn't somebody just turn it off?"_

_"Why can't I move?"_ Hinode wondered, sobbing quietly.

Yet another flashback.

It was late at night, and the girl, now five, had just finished doing the dishes and was about to got down to the cellar for bed, when her mother's boyfriend called her back.

Finally, the only one who had any real say in this spoke up for the first time.

"…_no_…" Akane whispered dryly.

The man laid her down on the floor, his face twisted in a leer.

Then all you could see were the girl's legs, and her mother's boyfriend's hands pulling down her underwear.

The silence in the room was deafening.

* * *

A midnight blue blur shot forward, and with a single punch, destroyed the television. 

Akane stood there amidst the bits of broken glass, plastic and cables shaking, blood dripping from her fist.

Her cheeks had drained of all color.

Her lips were white.

Her lilac eyes were wide as saucers and brimming over with tears that refuse to spill and indescribable animalistic fear.

Without a word to any of them she darted from the room.

Quatre being the empath that he was, had been blasted with the full extent of her pain and had dashed out after her.

"**_Akane!_**"

Quatre was quickly catching up.

Hey, being a Gundam Pilot doesn't come easy.

_"Oh God, leave me alone!"_ Akane moaned in her mind reaching the stairs.

"**Akane, _wait!_**"

Akane took the stairs as four at a time, Quatre right in her dust.

Almost at the bottom, she miss stepped and fell, twisting her ankle in the process.

Akane attempted to push herself up and go down the rest of the way reach the street, but Quatre's hands on her waist halted her.

Immediately Quatre's arms were around Akane's thin shoulders and she crumbled completely, clinging to his shirt as she cried.

* * *

He sat there on the steps as the rest of the G-Boys, Sora and Hinode approached quietly, still holding Akane, as she continued to sob. 

Everything she had worked so hard to repress had come back to her.

Everything Akane had worked so hard to heal from and move on.

All the damage that had been done came back to bitch slap her and it shocked her.

"N-no one…'sever sposda...suh-suh-see that." Akane managed to croak out, "I…I e'en lied in th' court a law…din'n tell…weren't sposda know…never sposda know…"

No one knew what to say.

"You can't tell'em." Akane begged suddenly, eyes wild with fear as she looked up at them, terror etched in every line of her face, "Can't tell'em! P-please don' tell muh-my brothers."

* * *

So went the night. 

Nobody slept very well.

And in the morning, Akane had taken off again, causing everyone (not just Domino) to panic…until they found the note on the refrigerator saying:

**AT HOTEL POOL-** _Akane._

They were running down the "Down" escalator faster than the Flash,knocking an innocent passerby out of the way without so much as an "Excuse Me".

"Whaddya think?" Duo asked, "Dya think she'd tryta drown herself?"

"Well after last night, ya never know." Sora grimaced, throwing open the doors to the pool.

And there she was.

In the pool.

Floating on her back.

Staring at the ceiling...

…fully clothed.

* * *

Why she was in the pool fully clothed was anybodies guess, but she floated over in their general direction and stared lifelessly up at them. 

"Uh…hey!" Duo grinned sheepishly, unsure of what to say, given the circumstancces, "Ya wanna cookie?"

With tiny a smile that slowly melted into the malicious grin they were all too familiar with, Akane shot her hand up, wrapped it quickly three times around the Deathsycthe pilot's braid and with a violent tug, sent him flying into the pool with an almighty splash.

"**PLAH!**" He gasped, resurfacing, "**_WHAT WAZZAT FOR?_**"

"Bein' a dumbass." Akane shrugged, swimming over to the ladder, "And…stickin' yer pretty boy nose inta other peoples business."

"**WHAT?**" Duo cried in disbelief.

"Uh, Aka?" Sora asked, "Just a question, but how come you're swimming like that?"

"Sloth." Akane answered, sloshing out of the pool, "I was feelin' too lazy to change into my suit, so…I just jumped in like this."

"Well, once is alright Miss Kakyoin." Domino sighed, toweling off her hair, "But don't do it again, okay?"

"Yeah, yeah." Akane drawled with a smirk, "Sure thing old man."

She wrenched away from him and cannon-balled back into the water.

"**_MISS KAKYOIN!_**" Domino cried, now thoroughly soaked.

"We're going to the Emerald Isles next right?" she laughed she did a backstroke past Duo, who had yet to exit the tepid water as he was sulking.

"Yup!" the braided boy said, instantly brightening, "Breweries galore!"

"So much booze!" Akane sighed happily floating past, "Gonna get plowed and them some!"

"Well she certainly recovered fast." Relena observed mildly.

"Mention the words 'cigarettes', 'booze' or 'guns' around her and she's bound to cheer up." Hinode sighed.

"Hey Maxwell." Wufei called, "Don't forget! Since you lost, you are now that woman's personal slave for the duration of the trip!"

"Hey…**yeah!**" Akane grinned malevolently, "I almost forgot about that."

"Yeah, thanks **_OH_** so much, Woofer." Duo grumbled, "Whaddid I ever do to you?"

"Do you need a list?" Wufei asked.

* * *

(A/N: Kiss Meh Ahm Irish! The group arrives! As for what happens? Welll...that you'll have to read for yourself! R&R!) 


	14. When Irish Eyes are Smiling

(A/N: Hey all! (cries) Lemme just start out by saying that I love you guys SOOOOOO MUCH! Your reviews really made me feel better and to those who cried, I'm sowwy, buut that ass really pissed me off! And with that said, on with the fic!)

* * *

"Rrrr…**rrr_RRRRGH_-I CAN'T _TAKE IT _ANYMORE!**" Duo bellowed, yanking his braid out of frustration.

Akane had been running him ragged ever since the plane had left the ground.

And he wasn't even doing things for her.

It was all stuff for everyone else and the flight staff!

She had had all the flight attendants take seats and push the call button when ever **_THEY_** wanted something!

"No matter how trivial or ludicrous!" Akane had told them, "Just ring up my Helper Freak."

And rung him up they had.

Everything ranging from dropped magazines on the floor to French manicures.

Wufei was gonna pay for this-!

"**Hey! _Slave Freak!_**" Akane yelled, "Sora wants more juice and the flight attendants want foot massages! **Hop to it!**"

-after that domineering bitch. **_OOO!_** Was she gonna get it!

"Please let plane land soon." Duo moaned as he shuffled to a male flight attendant with size 16 feet.

Quatre shot a look of pity Duo's way as the shoes came off and an invisible wall smacked the braided boy in the face sending him falling to the floor unconscious.

* * *

-Later…Dublin, Ireland…- 

"**Top o'' th' mornin' to ye, Red!**" an Irish woman grinned, waving at the group as they entered the terminal.

"**Adele, please don't be callin' me that.**" Akane grumbled, massaging her temples in agitation.

"**Butcher name be meanin' red, aye?"** the woman known as Adele asked, "**I fail t' see th' 'arm.**"

"_Why does Suu-kun like this brain dead whore?"_ Akane thought to herself, _"Oh, wait. I just answered my own question."_

"Akane?" Sora whispered, "Whose this?"

"Friend of yours?" Hinode asked.

"Hardly." Akane grumbled.

"Allow me." Domino interrupted, "This is Adele MacMahon. She is a business associate Mr. Miyazaki's."

"Charmed ta meetcha ahm sure!" Adele grinned, answering in rapid Japanese that was hard to follow.

"Uh...yeah, sure...whatever." Wufei said slowly, having grown very dizzy trying to keep up.

"We're gonna be stayin' with her until we leave for Paris." Akane drawled, not looking happy.

"And I be takin' ya t' Guinness on when yer settled." Adele smiled.

"Guinness?" Duo asked, reviving suddenly, "As in The Guinness **_BREWERY _**Guinness?"

"Oh brother." Wufei grumbled.

"Tch." Heero grunted.

Trowa was busy reading a visitor's pamphlet and didn't respond.

"Oh aye!" Adele laughed.

Quatre gave a relieved smile, glad that his friend was in brighter spirits.

Trowa looked indifferent as they piled into the stretch limo-van.

_"I just want to hurry along to Paris."_ He thought calmly, loading more bags.

Wufei looked ready to go down for a nap.

_"Can I simply remain at the hotel while those fools go touring?"_ he thought bleakly,_ "No. No I can't. That woman would never allow it."

* * *

_

Heero and Relena were deep in discussion of how Akane had broken the DVD the moment she had returned to the hotel room.

"Do really think burning it was necessary after breaking it into so many pieces?" Relena asked him.

"From her standpoint? Yes." Heero nodded.

"I see." Relena replied shakily, glancing in the trigger-happy, livewire gangleader's direction.

"**Achoo!**" Akane sneezed.

"**_Heep!_**" Relena squeaked, the teen's senses shocking her.

"Are you catching a cold, Akane?" Quatre asked.

"Ch. No." she snorted, rubbing her nose to rid herself of the persistent itch, "Lemme alone."

Quatre pouted.

Akane had been particularly poisonous towards Quatre as he had held her.

She had spent an hour in the afterward washing off his germs from the U.P.C. (Unwanted Physical Contact)

"There, there Quatre." Sora said comfortingly, snuggling up close.

"We still love ya!" Hinode purred, glomping onto him.

Quatre blushed.

"Um-er, th-that's nice and all-" he stuttered, "-but could you please let me go?"

"**Hey Slave Freak!**" Akane yelled, "Hurry it **_UP_** with those bags ya wussy!"

"**Ugh!** Make her **_stoooop!_**" Duo moaned, invisible under a mountain of luggage.

* * *

Soon they arrived the hotel, and Akane had a package waiting at the front desk. 

"Miss Kakyoin, if I may." Domino said officiously, snatching it from her.

"Hey!" Sora cried, "That's Aka's!"

"Give it back!" Hinode cried.

"Chill idiots." Akane drawled, "'sokay."

"Huh?" Hinode gaped, "But-but he just-!"

"Listen, Suo's gaming company got really big, really fast." Akane sighed, "Naturally, his competitors weren't happy 'bout that. So they've been tryna scare'm off by targetin' me, Taka, Kazu and Man-nii."

"They are trying to have you **killed?**" Relena cried, "Over a simple **_popularity contest?_**"

"Ch. Add'em to th' list." Akane snorted as Domino handed her the package, declaring it safe, "And I **THOUGHT** I toldja ta hurry it up with those **_bags_**, **Slave Freak!**"

"My arms…are gonna…explode." Duo squeaked.

Wufei was thoroughly enjoying this little spectacle

* * *

The trekked up to the presidential suite and began to unload their things. 

From her spot on a king sized bed, Akane shouted out orders to Duo.

"No, not **_THERE,_ DUMBASS!**" she yelled, "The **_OTHER_** left!"

"God, if you love me, **strike me down!**" Duo cried.

Akane had made him relocate the same dresser five times now.

Apparently, she had to have everything arranged as it was in her room back home.

Either that, or she was just **_reeeeeally_** lovin' this whole slave thing and was enjoying torturing her new toy to the fullest extent of her abilities.

I'll let you decide.

* * *

Trowa decided Duo needed a break, so he came to the rescue. 

Quatre would have too, but he is still trapped in the clutches of the Otaku Twins.

"You have yet to open your parcel." He said serenely, "Why not take the opportunity to open it?"

Akane gave him a look that clearly said, "You aren't Suo. You aren't even RELATED! You can't tell me what to do, so NYEH!"

"Yeah, Aka!" Sora cheered, still snuggling up to Quatre, "Open it!"

"We wanna know what is!" Hinode cried, nuzzling the crook of Quatre's neck, making him go very, **VERRRRRRRRY** red.

Akane gave them an exasperated look that said, "I can't believe you're asking me to do ANYTHING while you're almost/kinda/sorta making out with that Animanga Freak!"

"**_Pleeeeeeeeeeease?_**" they begged, still glommed onto Quatre.

"...fine." Akane snapped, ripping off the duct tape in one swift motion.

* * *

Lifting the cardboard flaps, she peered inside. 

"…Domino…" she murmured quietly, "Did you…did you tell him what happened-?"

"Of course not ma'am." He said, looking very offended, "It's not my business to tell."

Akane lifted out a small wooden statuary.

"I did, however, tell Mr. Miyazaki you haven't been sleeping well lately." Domino said as three more statues appeared out of the box.

"I see." Akane said, looking relieved, "Thank you."

She got up and walked over to the 7' 2" giant, currently looking very stressed, and gestured with her hand that he should lean down.

"Lemme hug you for a sec." She said, wrapping her arms around him as far as they could reach, acting very OOC, "You look like you need a hug."

She let him go and returned to her spot on the bed.

"Shisa." Wufei noted, taking in the statues.

"Huh?" Duo asked, "She's wah?"

"No, **shithead.**" Akane growled, "**_Shisa._** Guardian lion-dogs. They're supposed to ward off demons and the evil spirits who cause nightmares. There's four. One for each of my brothers."

"Aw, Isn't that sweet?" Sora cooed.

"Stupid? Definitely.Childish? Nodoubt.But sweet none the less." Akane snorted, shaking her head and inspecting the innards of the box again.

* * *

There was another DVD that had written across the front: **DESTROY AFTER WATCHING!**

"Now that's unusual." Relena remarked.

"Agreed." Heero nodded.

Akane was already over at the DVD player, nervously inserting it into the machine.

_"Please not another freaky anime where they find out more than they're sposda."_ She begged silently, pressing play.

What met her eyes made her gasp…

…and fall to the floor with laughter.

Everyone soon joined in (even Mr. Perfect Soldier and Sir Stone Face)

There on the big screen, was Suo, Takaomi, Mannen and Kazuo.

All three were cross dressing (very badly) and were lip-syncing the Spice Girls, **_"Say You'll Be There."_**

As soon as the song ended, the four drag queens got even closer to the screen, making the laughter before seem infinitesimal by comparison.

* * *

"Hey sis!" Kazuo grinned, "We heard from D-dude that you were down!" 

"Hope our show made ya feel better!" Mannen laughed.

"Remember!" Takaomi snickered, "Don't Fear the Reaper!"

"**I _resent_ that!**" Duo yelled.

"Take care and remember, Destroy This After You've finished." Suo growled.

"**BYYYYYYYYEEEE!**" They yelled, waving furiously as the screen blacked out.

"Yuh-you've gotta admit, my brother's've got great legs!" Akane managed to choke out before busting up laughing again.

"Destroy that thing?" Sora gaped through peals of laughter, "Hell no!"

"You could hold this over them the rest of their lives!" Hinode hooted.

"No **_shit!_**" Akane howled, "Destroy after watching my **ASS!** This'll be good for blackmail for-**_EH_**-ver! **NOW _WHOSE_ _UP_ FOR _GUINNESS?_**"

"**ME_ME_ME!**" Duo shouted.

"Did I **_GIVE_** you permission to speak?" Akane yelled.

"Nnnooo...**damn it!**" Duo shouted.

Wufei came close to passing out from lack of air.

"Then let's **_HEAD OUT TROOPS!_**" Akane whooped, "**ONE TWO! _ONE TWO!_ ONE TWO!**"

* * *

(A/N: The gang tours Guinness! Another drinking game and-he did NOT just think THAT! R&R!)


	15. The New Drinking Game

(A/N: Hey all! Thank you for all your reviews! And now, here's the next chappie!)

* * *

"Can you **believe** all those hops?" Quatre said, acting surprisingly giddy for one who was only a social drinker.

"You could've **_swum _**in'm!" Duo crowed, face appropriately flushed with excitement, but rather swollen and covered with fresh bruises and bleeding cuts.

"Whadd're you **talkin'** about Duo?" Sora laughed.

"You **_DID_** swim in'm!" Hinode snickered.

"And **ALMOST** got us banned for **_LIFE!_**" Akane snarled, glaring at the braided pilot ferociously.

Please note that Duo, no matter how badly battered, is still alive.

If he had in fact gotten them banned for life, he wouldn't still be among the living.

"He said he was sorry." Relena said soothingly.

"Funny, I thought I heard a voice." Akane said sarcastically, "But it must've just been a dumb blonde takin' a crack at an intelligent response."

Relena looked at the floor and sniffled.

Heero glared at Akane and withdrew his lil' friend: a Haskell 45 Auto Pistol.

"Apologize." He growled.

Akane began to snicker…then busted up laughing.

"**Oh real bright, _shit-fer-brains!_**" she howled, "Firin' off a round in a buildin' filled with **ALCOHOL!**"

Heero's cheeks tinged pink.

Wufei began to snicker.

Trowa's emotionless mask dissolved into the tiniest of smirks.

Quatre chuckled softly despite himself.

"**_Gawd _whadda_ dumbass!_**" Akane continued to laugh, walking off.

"Don't listen to her Heero." Relena said comfortingly, "She doesn't know anything."

_"What are you talking about?"_ Heero thought to himself irritably as they exited the brewery, _"She's absolutely right!"_

* * *

_-Later…Back At Merrion Hotel…-_

Akane sat hunched over on the bed, uploading the pictures taken of the huge antique brewpots, kegs of original Guinness, as well as memorabilia, onto her laptop and sending them to Takaomi.

"Heh." She snickered, "If that doesn't make'm jealous, I don't know what will."

"Oi, **Aka!**" Sora shouted from the next room, "We're all set!"

"**_Yeah!_**" Hinode yelled, "Hurry **up!**"

"**_Comin'!_**" Akane yelled, snapping the laptop shut and leaping off the bed.

The group had, of course, purchased a great deal of alcohol while at the brewery.

The bottles we're spread out on the floor in front of the T.V. and everybody waited for the explanation.

"Okay, it goes like this." Akane said evenly, Inserting four DVD's into the DVD changer, "We're watching seasons one through four of South Park. Everyone pick out a character now."

"**Wendy!**" Sora yelled.

"**_Bebe!_**" Hinode cried.

"The street." Akane drawled, a big smirk on her face.

"Um…I'm not familiar with this show." Relena said tentatively.

"Neither are we." Wufei snorted.

"Here's a list of characters." Sora smiled, holding out a sheet of paper with names and pictures.

"You really want the _street_ Aka?" Hinode asked in a whisper.

"Mmm-hm." Akane smirked.

"Ummm…I guess I'll take Kenny." Quatre murmured.

"I'll take…Cartman…I guess." Wufei muttered.

"…Mr. Mackey…" Trowa mumbled.

"I suppose I'll take the Mayor." Relena mused.

"…Towlie…" Heero grunted.

"Then I guess I'll take Chef…whoever That is." Duo grinned.

"Good." Akane smirked, "The way this games works is this: we watch the show. Every time your character appears on screen? You take a swig of beer."

Everyone gaped at her.

"And you chose the **STREET?**" Wufei cried.

"Damn straight." Akane smirked, "I wanna get blitzed, and I don't wannamess around. Now then…let's get started."

Poor boys.

If only they were a little more familiar with the show.

Akane pressed play.

* * *

Wufei, having chosen Cartman, had to take a couple swigs right from the get go. 

And bear in mind, it takes nothing to get him tanked.

So when he leapt on top of the dresser and started stripping again…well, needless to say, Sora and Hinode were verrrrrrry happy.

"**_LOOSH _TH' _SHIRT!_**" Hinode shrieked as Wufei began messily unbuttoning his top.

"**TH' PANSH! FER _GODSH_ _SHAKESH!_ LOOSH TH' PANSH!**" Sora yelled.

Quatre had to take almost twice as many drags of beer as Wufei.

And the once softspoken boy became…-koff-…very friendly towards the inebriated Relena.

"Yeh know shumthin'?" he slurred, slumping over her, "Yeew…are won **_hhhawt_** woman. If ah wuzzn' ingaged I'd be on yew like that!"

He had to try three times before successfully snapping his fingers.

Heero, being the cheap drunk that he was, pulled the drunk woman away sloppily.

"**Back _off_, Winner!**" he yelled loudly, "**Sheesh _mine_, dammit!**"

Relena was giggling like mad, being as previously stated, **_VERY_** hammered as she chose the Mayor.

"Now c'mon, Hee-chan!" she slurred, grinning sloppily, "Haventcha e'er hearda a threes'm?"

Trowa, remember, chose Mr. Mackey, and if you'll recall, is a lightweight.

Needless to say, he got very chatty, very fast.

In what way?

He began quoting his character's lines.

"Uh, drugs're bay-ad, m'kay?" He cited along with the construction paper cutout.

* * *

Duo, like Akane, could hold his liquor, but because he had chosen Chef, he was already on his third bottle and just starting to feel the effects of inebriation sinking in. 

_"Man, why duz this guy hafta pop up s'much?"_ he wondered, taking another swig as Chef broke into song.

Since Akane had chosen the street of all things, she was getting very close to her goal of being totally blitzed (as the street blips up every five or six seconds)

If you'll remember from the first saga, Akane undergoes a drastic personality change when smashed.

So when she crawled over to the nearly-drunk Duo and rested herchin on his shoulder, he was of course, a little nervous.

_"What's she up to now?"_ He thought warily, eyeing her carefully, but too timorous to move her.

"Y' know sumthin'?" She asked, smiling at him (not a typo: S-M-I-L-E)

"W-what?" Duo asked guardedly.

"Beer is a good thing!" she grinned, hugging him tightly from behind and taking another swig, "**Reeeeeally** takes th' edge off doncha think?"

Duo blinked.

Then breathed a sigh of relief.

"Yeah." he nodded, noting chef back on screen and taking another gulp, "Really helpsya relax."

He really preferred the drunk Akane to her sober.

She was so much nicer to be around.

And she smiled more.

_"She's cute when she smi-yai-YAI! I DIDNOTJUSTTHINKTHAT!"_ Duo thought in a panic, _"Not about THAT violent bitch! That's like thinking DOROTHY'S adorable! Never gonna happen!"_

Akane didn't notice Duo' freak out as she was taking another biiiiiiig swig of Guinness, snickering as Cartman farted fire.

Never fear Duo.

It's just the beer talking…probably.

* * *

_-Next Morning…-_

The sounds of vomiting met Duo's ears.

It automatically turned his stomach and made him rush for the bathroom.

When he reached it, he found, to his horror, it was locked.

Without really thinking, he threw open the door, and ran out into the hall, hurling into a potted plant.

Akane stood out on the balcony smoking, having already sluiced herself of the hangover, listening to the early morning symphony of the "Hangover Opus" as performed by the G-boys, Relena Peacecraft and the Otaku Twins.

"So…we head out for Paris today…" she murmured, exhaling smoke, "…they have some great wineries there…and It would be a great opportunity to ditch D-man again…heh heh heh."

In his sleep, Domino sneezed.

* * *

(A/N: Bonjour mes amis! Let's see how the Parisians handle these anime charas made real.Viva le France! R&R!) 


	16. Another Escape: Who's That Man?

(A/N: Hey all! Sorry this took so long. My compy's been actin up, and I lost this entire chappie! I had to re-write it from memory! So if it's a little weirder than usual, that's why. ONWARD AND UPWARD PEEPS!)

* * *

"**_LOOK!_ LOOK!**" Hinode cried, "The Eiffel Tower!" 

"Isn't it **_pretty!_**" Sora squealed.

"Yeah, yeah…whatever." Akne drawled through a veil of smoke.

Trowa's eyes glittered with excitement as he stared out the window.

Paris.

City of Lights.

Home to some of the world's most beautiful works of art.

He couldn't wait.

Quatre, ever the empath, caught the look in his eyes and smiled.

"As excited to be here as I am I take it." he observed.

Trowa said nothing but gave a light inclination of the head.

"Me too." Quatre smiled, somehow forming a sentence from his friend's silence, "I can't wait to see the Mona Lisa either!"

Wufei stared a moment at the blond Arab then shook his head.

_"How does he DO that?" _the Chinese teen had to wonder.

* * *

Duo was once again, being ordered around by the flight staff having resumed his position as Akane's Personal Dog. 

"_Ch. Knew it was th' booze talkin'."_ He grumbled internally, trying his best to make Seared Fois gras for the co-pilot through a hangover that had yet to fade, _"No WAY I'd think you were cute SOBER!"_

"**Achoo!**" Akane sneezed, rubbing her nose to rid herself of the itch.

"Are you sure you're not catching cold Miss Kakyoin?" Domino asked, staring at her hard.

"I'm **fine.**" She snapped, "Someone's...thinkin' ill a me 's all."

She glared poisonously at Duo's back.

"**HEEP!**" Duo squeaked, feeling as though two holes were being burned through his spinal column.

Heero had to admit he was a little impressed.

That Akane girl's fierce stare was comparable to his own.

A pity that she hated him really.

With their common love of firearms and explosives they probably could've been the best of friends...had the circumstances surrounding Heero's birth been different of course.

Relena was not doing well.

Her hangover was unprecedented.

In fact, it was almost as bad as Duo's.

"How did they talk me into it?" Relena moaned, slumping against Heero as her head throbbed, "**_Pleeeeeease_** hurry up and kick in, Mr. Asprin."

"Dumbass." Akane snickered to herself, "Ekiyabe(1) is th' only way ta go."

* * *

_-Later...In the Louvre...-­_

"Astounding…" Wufei said, taking in the **_"Venus de Milo"_**, "Remarkable really. To think this was carved by hand."

_"…huh…her eyes really DO follow you!"_ Duo thought, a little fascinated, a little creeped out as he walked this way and that to escape the gaze of **_"The Mona Lisa"_**.

Trowa gazed at the **_"The Gleaners"_** a serene look on his face.

"I agree." Quatre murmured, "Quite beautiful."

Heero gave them a look, then shook his head.

"Miss Kakyoin, would you like to move on to the Picasso exhi-?" Domino never finished his sentence.

Akane had escaped again.

"Akan-**neeeeee!**" Sora moaned smacking a hand against her forehead.

"We were actually **_enjoying _**the museum!" Hinode groaned, eyeing Wufei's ass.

Domino was off like a shot, knocking over several museum patrons and nearly destroying several priceless works of art.

* * *

Relena and the G-Boys just stared after his trail of dust, a bemused expression on their faces. 

"What do you think?" Wufei asked no one in particular, "Should we help him find her?"

"…it would be the right thing to do." Heero muttered.

"It **WOULD **be the right thing to do-" Dou interjected, "-except…we're on vacation. So…we should care cuz why?"

"…"

Trowa said nothing but tilted his head slightly.

Heero noticed instantly.

But as he was not fluent in "Trowa Speak", he had no idea what the teen had said.

So naturally, he was on Quatre faster than the blond boy could blink.

"What did he just say?" he asked, staring the Arab down without really meaning to (conditioned reflex)

"Uh-um-ah!" Quatre stammered, "Huh-he s-said thuh-thuh-that wuh-**WESHOULDHELPDOMINOLOOKFORHER!_AAAAH!DON'THURTME!_**"

"Leave him **A-_LONE_** Heero!" Sora shouted, hugging the now bawling teen close.

"**YEAH!**" Hinode cried, joining Sora in hugging Quatre, "He's **_SPOSDA_** be your **FRIEND!**"

Heero's eyes took on a look that might have been better suited to a very confused child.

_"What did I do?"_ he wondered.

"There, there." Relena said, patting her boyfriends messy hair, "It's not your fault."

* * *

Akane strolled through the City of Love, taking in the familiar sites. 

She nearly walked past the fountain just outside the Place de la Concorde but quickly back tracked and smirked mischievously.

"'kay Kazu." She grinned, "Just like I promised!"

She dashed for the pigeons perched on and around the fountain, nearly colliding with a man with midnight blue hair.

The man did a rather comical double take as Akane shot past, lilac eyes dancing with glee as she terrorized the rats with wings.

The pale pink tinge in the man's cheeks drained away as he watched the fair-skinned teen continue to chase the pigeons.

"Ća va?" the woman on his arm asked him worriedly, taking in his ashen complexion.

"…oui…ća va." (2) He murmured as they continued on their way.

"Haaa…that felt good." Akane grinned, sitting on the cobblestones, taking no notice as the man glanced back at her one last time.

* * *

"**_THERE SHE IS!_**" a familiar voice shouted. 

Akane didn't even need to look up to know it was Sora.

And to know that Domino was in her company.

"Shit." She hissed, leaping to her feet.

Akane was already looking for a means of escape as she ran in the opposite direction as Domino.

It was pure luck that sent that souped-up Vespa her way.

Without so much as an 'excuse me' or 'sorry', she dropkicked the rider off and took off like a bullet.

_"Where t' go…where t' go…"_ she mused as she drove away, _"…huh…I never did see the L'arc de Triumph th' last time I was here."_

* * *

"**Dammit!**" Wufei snarled, "**_How_** does that **woman** keep**_ DOING_** that!" 

His warrior's pride was taking serious hit points every time Akane managed to slip through his fingers.

His comment, however, fell on deaf ears.

Sora and Hinode were too busy trying to pacify Domino to listen.

"I gonna be fired." Domino mumbled, rocking back and forth, "..gonna be fired…just know it."

"Would that really be sucha bad thing?" Duo asked sardonically.

"**Duo!** That's a **_horrible_** thing to say!" Relena cried.

"But it's true." Hinode sighed.

"I hate to say it, but I agree with them." Quatre exhaled.

"This can not be good for his heart." Sora nodded.

* * *

Heero approached Domino, gun in hand. 

"Sir, may I request your permission to retrieve the target using...any means necessary?" he asked, speaking more then than he had the entire trip.

Glancing bleakly at the firearm, Domino nodded weakly.

"...nn weethfl futh..." he mumbled into his knees.

"What was that?" Duo blinked.

Wufei shrugged.

"…he said…no lethal force." Trowa murmured.

Everyone turned and stared at the stoic pilot of Heavy Arms.

"He speaks." Duo grinned, eyes wide with shock.

"Of course he does." Quatre said defensively, "He spoken before."

"But he does so so rarely!" Sora smiled.

"You gotta admit Q-chan, it's a little shocking after nothing but silence forso long." Hinode laughed.

_"Why am I the only one who can understand him?"_ Quatre thought to himself tiredly.

* * *

"...**whooooooa.**" Akane said, stunned to say the least. 

She strained to see all the way to the top of the L'arc de Triumph...and failed (ah the miseries of being short)

"I didn't think it'd be **_THIS_** big." She muttered, a grin slowly formingon her lips, "...**AWESOME!**"

After acting like a giddy tourist forapproximately...hmm...ten seconds, Akane hopped back on the "borrowed" Vespa and took off foranother location.

_"Hmm...now where was that winery located again?" _she thought to herself as she zipped along, _"...nnn...NNNN-this just shows how livin' with four guys'll effectcha! I don't WANNA ask fer directions, DAMMIT!"_

But thankfully, her femininity (she still **_HAS_** that?) prevailed and a five minute conversation later, she was back on the road.

"Alrighty then!" she smirked, driving around a the road block and blazing on by, "Suo'll wanna '40 a course, but whaddabout Taka?"

* * *

Heero and the others stared at Akane's back as she shot past the barricade. 

"...shit." Heero muttered, scowling.

"I thought fer sure that would work Heero." Duo said, a touch of annoyance in his voice.

Domino rocked back and forth on the ground in the fetal position, sucking his thumb.

Sora and Hinode did their best to comfort him.

"There, there." Sora said, a bit unsure of herself, "It's not your fault."

"Y-yeah." Hinode said with forced cheerfulness, "Akane just has a restless spirit is all!"

"That's right!" Sora said, nodding at Hinode, "It isn't your fault she can't sit still!"

Trowa tugged on Quatre's sleeve.

"Hm?"

Quatre, looked at Trowa.

"…"

Trowa said nothing just stared.

"I'll see if it's alright." Quatre said peaceably.

"What's up Q-man?" Duo asked.

"Trowa wishes to know if he may return to The Louvre by himself." Quatre replied.

"May I go along as well Heero?" Relena asked gently, "I barely began to take in all th-"

"Take Relena with you." Heero barked, intent on capturing his quarry, "Meet us at the Hotel when you finish."

"Trowa, somehow I get the distinct impression that we're not wanted." Relena harrumphed as they stalked off.

Trowa ignored the girl, focusing solely on his goal of getting to The Louvre with his sanity still intact.

* * *

_-Several Hours Later...Back At The Hotel..­.-_

Akane, somehow, someway, had beat the G-Boy's home.

She was lying on her stomach in a pair of boxer style undies and an oversized Tee (stolen from Takaomi), watching "The Simpsons" in French and twirling a bottle of wine in her fingers by the neck.

"Hey guys." Akane smirked, sitting up and folding her legs primly, "What keptcha?"

Heero began shaking in silent rage.

Duo's face turned beet red with just barely contained anger.

Wufei cracked his knuckles loudly, eyes narrowed into slits.

Quatre was being held up by Hinode and Sora as he had fallen asleep twenty minutes earlier.

Justas it looked like all would break loose...Domino broke the ranks, glommed onto.

Akane and bawled like a baby.

"There, there." Akane said grinning awkwardly; p'atting his smooth, shaven head, "Calm down, ya big girl."

Domino lifted his large face off of her shoulder (he fell to his knees) deluges of tears still pouring down his face

"...hhhhhh...**WHYYY?**" He asked loudly, giving her a shake.

"Eh...I just like screwin' with ya." Akane shrugged.

Domino burst into tears again just as Relena and Trowa walked through the door.

"**_WHADDID I _DO_ T' _DESERVE_ THIS?_**" He wailed.

"Dunno." Akane shrugged again, "But whatever it was, it musta been pretty shitty."

"Um…whud we miss?" Relena had to ask Heero.

"Something's are better left unsaid." Quatre said.

"Um, could you cry on the bed or somethin'?" Akane asked the still-sobbing Domino, "You're gettin' me all soggy."

* * *

(A/N: Mysterious packages begin to arrive for Akane. Are they from an Admirer? Or someone far more sinister? Are they linked to that mysterious man? What will happen as the group leaves for Madagascar? R&R)

* * *

(1) Ekiyabe- Ekiyabe is an almost instantaneous Japanese hangover cure. It's why Akane's back on her feet. She gave some to Hino and Sora (who in turn snuck some to a few of the boys) 

(2) "Ća va?"; "…oui…ća va."- "Are you alright?"; "…yes…I'm fine."


	17. À Ma Cherie Princesse Akane

(A/N: Hey all! Shinigami-chan here! Just a heads up! This a bit more serious than other chappies. Not angsty. Still slightly serious tho'. Anotherwarning beforehand -sheesh, whole lotta warnings this chappie, eh?- , LOSTS OF FRENCH IN THIS CHAPTER! The translations are at the end so without further adieu, enjoy!)

* * *

"Hey **_Slave Freak!_**" Akane yelled, "Put some **muscle** into it!"

"Mehmeh**_meh_**meh**meh!**" Duo mumbled mockingly from beneath a mountain of luggage, "…put some muscle into it…why don't **_you_** put some muscle into it?"

_-pok…pokpokpok-_

Akane's face broke into a poisonous smile as she dropped a foot in Duo's path.

"**WAH-_AAH!_**" Duo yelped as he tripped, becoming entombed in a suitcase crypt.

"I don't recall ever sayin' you could speak." Akane smirked walking past the front desk.

"**Ah!** Mademoiselle Kakyoin?" the concierge asked quickly, stopping her.

"Oui?" Akane replied.

"Cecé arrivait en ce moment pour vous." (1) she said, handing Akane a package.

Sora and Hinode shot Akane a look.

"Stupid…mannaphranna bilingual…" the muttered under their breath.

Akane heard this and stuck her tongue out at them.

* * *

She inspected the label thoroughly. 

No return address.

No watermark.

**_Verrrrrrrry_** suspicious.

"Domino, would you?" Akane asked, turning around and handing the package to him.

"Of course, Miss Kakyoin." He replied (recovered from his lil' episode) carrying it away.

"Where's he going?" Relena asked, watching him go.

"Classified." Akane drawled, lighting up a cancer stick as she spoke.

Relena scowled at her in a pathetic attempt to be threatening.

Akane nearly went into a coma from lack of oxygen.

She was laughing that hard.

Heero and Trowa, alternating between staring at Akane, holding the front desk for support, and at Relena who look about ready to cry.

* * *

Domino returned just as Wufei sauntered down the stairs and Duo finished re-stacking his luggage tower. 

"All clear." Domino said crisply, returning the parcel to Akane's pale, thin fingers as they piled into the stretch limo-van.

"Thank you." Akane sighed, leaning back against the seat and tearing it open.

A perplexed expression crossed her face as she removed the contents.

An old locket and a letter written in French, which Akane read aloud.

"_À ma cherie princesse Akane,_

_C'est un message du grande amour._

_Je place mon coeur sacrificial sur l'autel."_

"Um…come again?" Sora asked, a dazed expression on her face.

"We aren't **all** bilinguals like you, ya know." Hinode added grumpily.

"Actually we are." The G-Boys responded.

"Same goes for me." The vice foreign minister smiled sheepishly, "It comes with the position."

Domino gave a nod to indicate that, he too, was in the loop.

* * *

"…shut up." Sora moaned, hiding her face in her arms. 

"**_Quitcher griping!_** I'll translate!" Akane snickered, "It says:

"_To My Darling Princess Akane,_

_This is a message from one who truly loves you. _

_I place my sacrificial heart upon the alter."_

Everyone just stared.

"Sacrificial…heart?" Duo asked, "Are you translatin' that right?"

"**Yes**, **_Slave_** **_Freak_**." Akane snapped, "I'm positive."

Duo glared at her.

Akane glared back ferally.

Duo let loose a tiny squeak and ducked behind Domino.

"…I place my sacrificial heart upon the alter…" Akane mused, "…who do I know…with a sacrificial heart?"

* * *

Sora and Hinode had a sudden realization and looked quickly at each other through the corners of their eyes. 

They were in Paris.

Paris is where Kakyoin Chloe (see chapter 11) stated she was returning to with her husband Kakyoin Aogi.

And as previously stated, Kakyoin wasn't the world's most common surname.

The odds that Chloe's Kakyoin Aogi and Kakyoin Akane were father and daughter were looking pretty likely right now.

But the odds that he would know, or care, about where Akane was and where to find her were pretty slim.

"_Remember, just keep your mouth shut."_ They thought to themselves, _"Don't go stirring up trouble."

* * *

_

Akane peered at the old locket.

Engravings covered it's entire surface and it had recently been poished.

"Do you need help opening that?" Quatre asked gently.

Akane glared venomously at the Arab.

"**No.**" she spat.

Quatre pouted and Trowa patted his head.

Inserting her thumbnail into the thin seam, she undid the catch.

At the sight of the photograph inside, Akane choked and threw the locket away from herself as if it had just bitten her.

It skidded across the carpeted floor of the limo-van, coming to a rest at Duo's feet.

Curious as to what could so thoroughly disturb the normally unfazeable gang-leader, Duo extracted it of the floor and peered inside.

* * *

It was a photograph of a man with stylishly cut shoulder length, midnight blue hair. 

His large, doll-like, lilac eyes seemed tired and sad, framed by dark lashes.

His pale skin seemed all the paler in his dark clothes.

"_Man…whadda looker."_ Duo nodded appreciatively, _"If I was gay, hell, I'd fuck'm."_

In this man's his arms…he held an infant.

With hair, eyes and skin identical to his.

And next to him lay a woman in a hospital bed.

A woman whom Duo remembered from the DVD.

Akane's mother.

* * *

Akane didn't speak for the rest of the ride to the airport. 

She didn't even order Duo to unload the luggage (he did anyway; force of habit)

The silence was unbelievably unsettling.

But it was soon broken when they saw who was waiting for them at the terminal.

Midnight blue hair tied back in a rather long pony tail that stopped just below his shoulder blades.

Round, doll-like, lilac eyes that were ringed with exhaustion and worry.

Moonbright skin that stood out in his black suit.

Rather tall and well dressed, but rather disheveled none the less.

It was obvious whom Akane had taken afterat a singleglance.

* * *

_"She has his looks." _Duo thought to himself, noticing for the first time, since her face wasn't contorted with rage, that Akane's eyes were as large, roundand beautiful as her father's, _"...she's in trouble."_

* * *

"Akane…" he murmured.

Akane merely stared at him, silently seething.

"Ju abandonné mon…avec c'est femme." (2) Akane muttered, no emotion trespassing her voice or face, "Je ne commencer tu decrire tout elle du tu moi." (3)

"Oui." The man, or should I say, Kakyoin Aogi, nodded sadly, "Ju pourvoir jamais demander pour ton pardon." (4)

Akane stared at him, a look of childish stubbornness clouding over her face.

"Si vous s'attendre à un étreinte, **_oublier il_**." (5) Akane growled.

A tiny smile formed on Aogi's lips.

"Ju ne s'attendre à je n'ai rien vu." He said softly.

Akane shook a little, barely containing herself.

"Bien vous faire un **DE TOUTE FAÇON, TU _RAMPAR!_**" (7) Akane shrieked, grabbing the man in a bone crushing hug.

Aogi's widened in understandable surprise.

"You leave me again, and I'll**_ kill you_**…just so we're clear." She mumbled into his shirt in Japanese.

"Oui." Aogi nodded, patting her head, "Creestahl."

Sora and Hinode just stared vacantly.

"Um…would somebody mind…filling us in?" they asked.

* * *

(A/N: Father and Daughter arereunited, to Madagascar they go! Suo & Co. get wind of the mess, so you'd better prepare for a show! R&R!)

* * *

(1) "Cecé arrivait en ce moment pour vous."- "This just arrived for you."

(2) "Ju abandonné mon…avec c'est femme." - "You abandoned me…with that woman."

(3) "Je ne commencer tu decrier tout elle du tu moi."- "I can't begin to describe all she did to me."

(4) "Ju pourvoir jamais demander pour ton pardon."- "I can never ask for your forgiveness."

(5) "Si vous s'attendre à un étreinte, **_oublier il._**" – "If you're expectin' a hug, forget it."

(6) "Ju ne s'attendre à je n'ai rien vu."- "I don't expect anything."

(7) "Bien vous faire un **DE TOUTE FAÇON, TU _RAMPAR!_**"- "Well you're getting one **ANYWAY, YA _CREEP!_**"


	18. WE! ARE! HERE!

(A/N: Hey all! Seriousness done! ONWARD WITH THE FUNNY!)

* * *

Hinode and Sora mused over the explanation of why Akane hadn't disemboweled her birth father onsight. 

The logic behind it was a little twisted.

But, then again, it was Akane's reasoning after, so in a way, it made perfect sense in a way.

She was livid, make no mistake of that, at him for abandoning her with that bitch and not taking her with him.

She wanted to kill him for that.

...or at least make him suffer as much pain as she did.

However, she had also given up all hope of ever finding him alive, so she was also overjoyed to see him.

It had been fifteen years after all.

Odds were pretty high that he could have been killed, or have died from a disease he contracted from Akane's mother (C'mon. Dya really think that whore practiced safe sex?)

Unbelievably joyful and extraordinarily pissed.

Both at the same time.

But since she was always quick to anger, she had decided to go with the happy (while it lasted)

And make no mistake, while she still would love to receive his head on a pike for a birthday present, she knew there would be time for maiming him later.

* * *

Wufei's take was a little different. 

If it we're him, and his father had walked out onhim and suddenly decided to walk back in fifteen years later, he would have killed him onthe spot (Ch'yeah right bud. Does th' name, Meiran, ring any bells?)

Quatre, onthe other hand, thought it was wonderful that Akane was showing some femininity at last by forgiving her father (...who says she's forgiven him?) in such loving (loving? don't push it pal)and open manner.

Heero had no insight on the matter whatsoever.

He merely wanted to reach Madagascar and go on safari as soon as was humanly possible.

Relena thought that fortune was being rather unfair, granting any sort of luck to a compassionless, silver tongued devil like her.

Trowa was asleep in his seat and didn't care.

As for what he's dreaming about...well…I'll just leave that up to your imagination.

Duo merely thought it was a weird and amazing twist of fate that had brought the two back together, and as an orphan, couldn't help but feel a little jealous (don't worry too much boy-o. the blood bath is set to begin shortly)

Domino really didn't care, but as per his obligations as Akane's body guard, he had to call his employer to inform him of this recent development.

Needless to say, things weren't going well.

* * *

"**_WHAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAT?_**" 

Mannen flew out of bed hitting his temple on the comer of his nightstand.

Takaomi snapped the PS2 controller in his hands in half.

Kazuo started choking on a chunk of partially chewed poppy seed muffin.

"He's **ALIVE?**" Suo snarled into the phone, his grip on the receiver so tight that several fissures were forming.

**"Yes sir." **Domino replied, **"He sought Miss Kakyoin out and-"**

"Where are you flying to now?" Suo snapped, "What's your destination? **_TELL ME!_**"

**"Muh-Madagascar."** Domino said shakily.

Without another word, Suo slammed down the phone, making it break into five perfect little chunklets.

"Huh...he's still alive...thank you god." Suo grinned maliciously.

"'ey Suu, what's goin' on?" Takaomi growled, stalking into Suo's office.

"Yeah, bro." Mannen grumbled, holing a towel to his bleeding head wound, "What's th' deal?"

"…almost...killed me." Kazuo croaked, massaging his throat.

Suo looked at all of them a look of wild animosity on his face.

"He's shown himself." He grinned wickedly, "We've **founnnnnd** him."

* * *

_-Several Hours Later...­-_

The plane set down in Ivato Airpot in Antananarivo, Madagascar.

They had arrived at ten o'clock exactly.

Akane was ordering Duo around again, the gift locket securely fastened around her neck.

"Hurry it **_UP_** ya lazy **'TARD!**" She yelled, kicking him in the ass to hasten him along.

"Knock it **_OFF_** ya **BITCH!**" Duo shouted back.

He had decided somewhere over Bali that he wasn't gonna take her shit anymore.

"What was that?" Akane growled, grabbing the braided boy's ears and twisting.

"**OW_OW_OW_OW_OW!**" Duo yelped.

"How childish." Heero murmured, eyeing the scene before his eyes.

"People are staring...again." Wufei grumbled, staring at the floor just ahead of his feet so as not to make eye contact with any of the spectators.

_"This...is so...embarrassing." _Relena thought to herself, a pink tinge flooding her face.

Trowa and Quatre looked at each other.

"Yes, I know." Quatre said comfortingly, "I'm hungry, too. We'll eat soon. Promise."

Sora and Hinode also shared a look.

_"Wish I could do that."_ They thought.

* * *

"Oi, **_MONKEY!_**" 

Akane stopped twisting Duo's ears and glanced up, following the direction of the voice to a group of **VERY **familiar men.

"Heyeee...izzat...**_SUU-KUN!_ MAN-NII! _KAZU!_ TAKA!**" Akane shouted, releasing her grip on Shinigami's ears and darting over to her brothers.

"Oh...oh thank god." Duo breathed, massaging his ears with both hands (after setting down the huge vat o' luggage)

There was a big group hug/noogie/punch-in-the-arm-fest between the siblings before they broke apart.

"I take it ya missed us, Monkey." Kazuo grinned.

"Shuddup." Akane glared.

"So...where is he?" Suo asked casually with murder in his eyes.

"Back in Paris." Akane responded easily.

Suo balked.

"Back..." Mannen started.

"In..." Kazuo continued.

"Paris?" Takaomi finished.

"Mm." Akane nodded, "We agreed it's for the best."

"**_BUT _WE _WANTED TO _KILL _HIM!_**" Suo yelled.

"We can do that later." Akane said indifferently, "**After** we erase our police records."

" ...good point." Kazuo said.

"I hadn't even thought of that." Takaomi said sheepishly.

"Dumbasses." Akane growled, a grin on her face, "God I missed you."

* * *

"So are you gonna...you know..." Suo trailed off. 

Akane's face contorted.

"**_HELL_ NO!**" Akane cried, "No way I'd live with that ass! Fifteen years and not so much as a letter? **_Fuck _that!**"

A relieved look passed over her brother's faces.

"No to sound rude..." Sora trailed off, "... but can we go now?"

"Yeah..." Hinode yawned sleepily, "'m tired."

"Sure." Mannen grinned, "Sorry 'bout that!"

"Our bad." Kazuo snickered.

"Hey, Mega Tard! Give Sora and Hino piggyback rides." Akane ordered.

"**_WHAAAAAT?_**" Duo cried, "How'm I sposda carry **THEM** and th' bags?"

"**_YOU_** figure it out!" Akane snapped, walking off with her brothers.

"Mind filling us in?" Takaomi asked Wufei.

"Not at all." The Chinese teen smirked.

* * *

_-The Next Morning...-_

_**-FWOK-**_

"**HYAH!**'

**_-WOK-_**

"**TAH!**"

**_-BWOK-_**

"**_AUGH!_ YOU FREAKIN' _TURD!_**"

Heero awoke to a barefoot stomping down only millimeters away from his nose.

It was Kazuo.

In the midst of a flip-flop fight with Akane and Mannen.

Heero had to quickly roll to the right to avoid getting stomped on as Mannen dodged the red and black flip-flop in Akane's hand.

A little annoyed, Heero snaked his hand forward and grabbed his own sandals while the snickering, dueling, shrieking trio were preoccupied.

"You **ass!**" Akane giggled, stepping on Wufei's hand as she smacked Kazuo across the shoulder, "Gimme back those **_goddamn_** _**pictures!**_"

"You'll geddem back!" Mannen snickered, sidestepping over Relena's sleeping form and striking Akane on the stomach, "Right after ya gimme back that **DVD!**"

"And that **_zip disk!_**" Kazuo laughed, hopping over Trowa's hair and whacking Mannen across the puss.

"**Never!**" Akane crowed.

Just as Heero slunk up behind the dueling siblings and was about to strike…

**_-FWOK-_**

"**_Aiyeep!_**" Akane squeaked, as the flip-flop impacted on her thigh.

**_-FWOK-_**

"**Owuch!**" Kazuo yelled, bringing his hands to his head.

**_-FWOK-_**

"**Ow!**" Mannen yelped, falling on the still sleeping Quatre.

"**_WAH!_**" Quatre cried, awakening at the sudden weight.

"**Taka!**" Kazuo shouted.

"**_Suu!_**" Mannen demanded, "What th' hell?"

The elder siblings extracted the missing (and rather humiliating) items from their younger siblings and returned them to their proper owners.

"Embarrassing piccys of Monkey from when she was seven." Suo said, placing the 8x10 glossies in her hands (which she promptly ripped to shreds)

"Thank you **ever **so much, **_brother dear._**" Akane said sarcastically.

"Kazu's zip disk filed with nothing but videos secretly taken of a girl he likes and stalks in his off time." Takaomi grinned, plopping the tiny disk into his now blushing brothers hands.

"Thanks a bunch." Kazuo growled, ears steaming.

"And of course, who could forget Mannen's pirated DVD of _"'Sensitive Ponography'"_?" (1) Suo snickered as Mannen snatched it away and snapped it in two.

"Remind me t' smack you." Mannen grumbled.

Heero looked vaguely put out as he dropped the flip-flops and went back to sleep.

"Huh." Kazuo said thoughtfully, "What's his problem?

* * *

(A/N: On Safari they go! Thinga are gonna get interesting, that's for sure! R&R!)

* * *

(1) _"'Sensitive Pornography"'_- an extremely hardcore yaoi! Pfft! Hee hee! Lil' bunny Aki-chan! -for those who aren't familiar with the title, don't trouble yourself with that last remark-(Mannen: Stupid effin' girlfriend!) (Akane: Yeah...sure...girlfriend...) (Mannen: IT'S TRUE!) (Quatre: Uh-huh. Yeah. Sure. Keep telling yourself that.) 


	19. It's Not Cute It Could Kill Us

(A/N: Hey all! Thank you spank you for the review-oos! And now, ONWARD WITH THE CHAPTER! **WOOOT!**)

* * *

"_**Awwww!**_ It's **sooooo** **_kyooot!_**" Hinode, Sora, Relena and Quatre squealed (sorry, butcha gotta admit, he's a girly boy.)

"It…is an elephant." Duo muttered, seeing the danger it posed instead of how adorable it was, "A huge, hulkin' grey, leathery tank…with tusks"

"An elephant with an iddle bitty baby!" Relena added (ew…baby talk…yech!)

Heero gave his girlfriend a look, shook his head, and refocused his attention on the animals outside the vehicle.

"It's shnozz makes Jay Leno's look tiny by comparison." Akane mumbled boredly (internally squealing along with them: remember, her one weakness is animals! see ch. 4 of the first saga)

"**That's not nice!**" Sora cried indignantly.

"It could turn us into Swiss Cheese in a matter of seconds." Wufei grumbled, eyeing the massive tusks warily "I **_fail_** to see what's so cute about them."

Anelephant calf, as though it heard, understood, and was determined to prove how adorable it was, walk over clumsily and examined Wufei's face gently with it's trunk, effectively making the Shenlong pilot blush.

"**Awwww! **How** _kyooot!_**" Hinode, Quatre, Sora and Relena shrieked.

Trowa ignored the shrieks and continued to gaze contentedly at the peacable creature.

Akane twitched slightly, making her half-brother's snicker.

Duo snapped a photo (for blackmail use later) of Wufei stammering like an idiot and awkwardly patting the baby pachyderm on the trunk, stuttering out what sounded vaguely like, "Okay, **pleeeease** go away now."

Trowa let loose a chuckle as he took in the normally composed pilots actions.

Quatre dissolved into unrestrained snickers as Wufei attempted to gather what was left of his dignity.

* * *

The herd of elephants lumbered on past the Jeep amiably and the guide applied light pressure to the gas pedal causing the vehicle to inch forward. 

They didn't get very far before a rather inquisitive cheetah launched itself onto the hood of the Jeep, curious as to what these creatures were doing on it's hunting grounds.

It was then a little known fact about the Shinigami came to light.

As it turns out, Duo is afraid of cats.

And a good sized one leering him down was just the thing to set trigger his well concealed felinophobia.

"**_GEEYAAAAAUGH!_**" He screamed, diving into the backseats and latching onto, of all people, Akane, "**GEDDIT AWAY!**"

"**_AIIYAAAAA!_**" Akane shrieked, punching him away mercilously, "**WHERE DYA THINK YER _FACE_ IS, _PERVERT?_**"

Quatre then latched onto Sora, who rocked him back and forth.

"Kitty go 'way! **Kitty go 'way!** He whimpered.

"_I am sooo gonna remember this."_ Wufei thought with a snicker.

"There, there, Duo-kun! It's okay!" Sora said sympathetically, patting his head.

"Don't worry! We won't let the mean, nasty kitty get you!" Hinode said, soothingly spoonfeeding the braded pilot lies.

Akane clung to Takomi hissing, "**_I'll kill'm!_ I'll KILL'M!**"

"Just chill, Monkey." Mannen laughed from his seat behind them.

"Yeah, it was 'n accident!" Suo grinned on her right.

"Besides, it's not like he could help it with those midgets on your-**_PBBLT!_**" Kazuo never finished the sentence as his dear, sweet, widdle sister promptly socked him in the jaw, loosing several of his teeth.

"Ooo! Good one." Takaomi said appreciatively, giving his sister a pat on the shoulder as Kazuo hit the roof and shot back into his seat.

"**I told you t' _KEEP QUIET _ABOUT THAT!**" Akane shouted.

The cheetah, seeing that, while very noisy, this particular group posed no threat, calmly hopped off the hood and stalked off lazily.

* * *

The jeep lumbered on for a ways before coming across a herd of zebra. 

"**_Oooo!_**" Relena breathed, "Heero aren't they gorgeous?"

Heero was inclined to agree with Relena in this instance; they were rather picturesque sight.

Akane was getting a headache from the sound of the dumb blonde's voice and was seriously wishing that one of those zebra's would gallop over and kick the Vice Foreign Minister square in the puss.

"**Shh!** Relena, you'll scare them-!" Quatre began to be interrupted by none other than our favorite gang leader.

"-away with yer face." Akane said loudly.

Wufei began to laugh uncontrollably at that one while Relena herself shook with rage.

The Effed Up Foursome (better known as Aka's half brothers) were laughing along with Wufei.

You'd have thought they'd have never heard anything so funny in their lives.

Heero decided at that precise moment to go deaf and ingnore the remark as a zebra ambled up alongside the jeep and nudged him with it's muzzle, exhaling hot breathe to inhale his scent.

Entranced, and not really thinking, he reached out and patted the beautiful creature between the ears.

It momentarily pressed against his hand before rejoining its herd.

"**_HEERO!_**" Relena shrieked, "Did you hear what she just **SAID?** Are you even**_LISTENING_** to me!"

"…no." Heero replied distractedly, still watching the zebras.

"**RRRRGH!**" Relena growled in frustration as the others laughed at her plight.

* * *

_-Later That Night…-_

"So many pics!" Kazuo exclaimed, running his fingers through his recently cut, short blonde hair (think Mido Ban from GetBackers short)

"Mm-hm." Akane nodded, smirking slightly, "Don't you worry.I got you guys souvenirs too…even tho' ya don't deserve'm…bitches."

"Aww, do I detect a note of homesickness in thine small, pink voice, Monkey?" Taka asked teasingly, pulling his short sibling into his chest.

"…maybe." Akane mumbled, sticking out her lower lip, pouting immaturely.

Her remark surprised all four of her half-brothers as well as her friends.

Akane was the type of person who would usually answer that last statement: _'Are you shittin' me? 'course not! The level of stupidity in the' air went down considerably away from you 'tards.'_

In "Akane Speak", _'Maybe'_ meant, _'Of course I missed you, smartass! Gedda clue!'_ and the fact she was admitting at all that she had missed them worried her brothers a bit.

But their worries were groundless as Akane let loose a yawn.

She was tired.

Akane was always a bit more truthful than usual (as well as extremely childish) when she was drowsy.

"Alright, Monkey." Takaomi said, switching his sister onto his back, "Time fer bed."

"But I'm not shleepy." Akane whined into his shoulder, eyes far past the half-lidded mark.

"_**Ohhh**_, yes you are." Mannen smirked up at her.

"No'm not." Akane mumbled, eyes sliding closed.

* * *

"Still such a child." Suo sighed, shaking his head as Takaomi carried his snoozing sister into the adjascent room. 

Duo just gaped.

How could the holy terror who made his life miserable from sunrise to sunset suddenly act like such an innoc-it shouldn't be possible.

Takaomi returned a minute later, sans shirt.

"Umm…not to pry…" Quatre said carefully, "But what happened to-?"

"My shirt?" Takaomi laughed, "Monkey hadda death grip on it. Id've had t' break her fingers t' get it loose."

"We don't mind!" Hinode smirked, eyeing his six-pack, "Do we, Sora?"

"Mm-mm." Sora said shaking her head, "Washboard abs. **Yum!**"

Wufei shot the girls a look as the Freakish Four laughed their heads off.

Heero caught Relena checking Takaomi out and deliberately spilt the soda he was drinking all over his shirt as an excuse to go topless.

Which immediately sent Sora and Hinode into faint by nosebleed status.

All in all, a rather uneventful night, wouldn'tcha say?

* * *

(A/N: The gang leaves Madagascar. Onwards to Switzerland! Time ta hit the slopes! R&R!) 


	20. Frost Bite

(A/N: Hey. Wish I could say I was in a better mood. Ijust found out today that my friend of 6 yrs., Brady Coates, has passed away. I'm still in complete shock. So this chapter is dedicted to his humorous spirit. May you rest in peace, Brady.)

**(R.I.P.-Brady Coates 1987-2006)**

* * *

"**_WAK!_ It's** **FREEZING!**" Sora squealed as a gust of wind picked up and blew against her harshly.

"_**Why **_does it hafta be so **fricken _cold?_**" Hinode cried, shivering violently.

"Well, **hm**, lemme think." Akane said sardonically, tapping her chin in a mocking gesture of thought, "Could it **_be_** that we're in **SWITZERLAND YOU '_TARDS?_**"

_"Wow, someone's really not a morning person."_ Duo thought, rolling his eyes and shifting the heavy snow gear on his back to a more comfortable position.

They had arrived in Switzerland at 9 o'clock the previous evening and crashed the minute they had walked through the doors of the hotel.

He had not been surprised when early that morning, after Mannen had woken his youngest sibling with a handful of snow down the back of the shirt, that she had been sent spiraling into a dimensionl of pissed off that he hadn't thought humanly possible.

His work load, naturally was ten times what it had been.

* * *

"Ease up there, Monkey." Suo said good naturedly, not bothering to take any of his equipment back from the braided pilot..

"**Don't. _Tell._ Me. _What._ To. _Do._**" She hissed, eyes flashing, enunciating each syllable, only an inch away from her eldest sib's nose, "**And, _DON'T_. Call. _ME_. Monkey.**"

"Lemme guess, sis." Takaomi smirked, rubbing her head, "You ran outta cigs?"

"Back in Paris." She grumbled.

"Oh well." Takaomi grinned, "This works out great. We can quit t'gether! I won't hafta suffer alone!"

Akane shot her elder sibling a glare that could kill a man.

"**_Kindly_ kiss off and _DIE!_**" she snarled, "Th' minute we're back in Japan, I'm restockin'."

As she stormed ahead, Kazuo whispered to Takaomi:

"Worry not. Her smokin' days are done."

* * *

Wufei, as it turned out, was a very good skier, and was up on the more professional slopes with Trowa.

The pair were gathering quite a crowd of female followers…as well as a crowd of angry boyfriends, pissed that they were leading their girlfriends astray.

What resulted was three hour chase ending with a mob of extremely ticked off girls beating the crap out of their boyfriends for even thinking of harming the bishies.

Sora and Hinode, having never skied before, trudged to the Bunny Slopes with Duo for lessons (as well as protection)

"**AWP!** Aw _**dang it!**_" Sora cried as her feet slid out from under her and she landed on her butt for the ump-teenth time.

"Hey babe, need a little help?" a local asked her sweeping her off the ground and onto her feet.

"Huh?" Hinode blinked as another local came up behind her.

"You two look like you could like you could use lessons." The new arrival grinned, "We could teach you…if ya like."

"Really?" Sora asked.

Duo's mind replayed Akane's earlier threat.

-_"If anything happens to them, you die. If anyone TOUCHES them you die. If anyone-!"_-

You get the idea.

So Duo, acting quickly, managed to locate the native boy's girlfriends (don't ask how) and after being alerted to their boyfriends lascivious ways they stormed over, grabbed them by the ears and hauled them off.

_"Huh…what was that about?"_ The Otaku Twins wondered.

Relena wanted to play in the snow, rather than ski on it, and by association, Heero was dragged along even though he really wanted to try snowboarding with the Effed Up Foursome and Quatre (hey, every now and then that boy suprises ya)

So now Heero was trapped at a snowbank located near the lodge, building a snowman with his girlfriend.

Damn he must love her.

Akane had decided to forgo skiing in favor of snowmobiling.

She zipped along, narrowly avoiding trees and boulders, enjoying the rush of the "I-Could-Die" experience.

This all came to a screeching halt when she hit an unexpected hairpin turn and flew head over feet into a snowbank twenty feet away.

She lay there, staring at the sky for a moment or two.

"**WOO HOO!**" she whooped leaping to her feet, "Who's up fer round two?"

_

* * *

_

_-Later That Evening…-_

"**_MUAHAHA!_**" Mannen howled, continuing to punch combos into the controller, "**BOW DOWN AND KISSH MAH FEET BITCH!**"

"**IT AINT OVER YET BASHTARD!**" Wufei roared, having no idea what he was doing and sending Eddie Gordo flipping wildly through the air as he and the 19 yr.old played _TEKKEN_.

Everyone was currently very drunk and doing random shit.

Relena and Heero were making out in the closet after imbibing three fingers of tequila.

It had been very interesting, watching them move from the sofa…to the floor…to a chair…to a table…**_THEN_** to the the closet.

Quatre was asleep…**UPSIDE** down…on the chair Heero and Relena had previously been making out in, his feet in the air, drool running down his face and a open bottle of scotch in his hand.

Trowa, Kazuo, Suo, Hinode and Sora were in a very loud argument over anime (yes, the boys have begun to enlighten themselves on such matters during their vaca)

"**_I DUN_** -hic- **DUN CARE_ WHUD_ YEW SHAY!**" Trowa yelled, waving his beer filled hand wildly around, nearly whacking Kazuo across the face, "**G-GOKU**…**KICKSH _ASSH!_**"

"**G-Goku'sh a** **_LEWSHER!_**" Sora shouted back sloppily, taking another swig, "**Buh-Be'erman cood**- hic-** wipe th' _FLOOR_ wid'em!**"

"**_SHCREEEW_ BEDDERMAN!**" Kazuo bellow, shaking a bottle filled fist, sloshing liquor everywhere( he and Suu have been drinking since four, so…), "**BIG **-hic-**_ BIG O ROOLZ!_**"

"**YOU T**-hic-_**TARD!**_" Suo roared, "**NO WUN C'N OUT FIGHT _OPT'MUS PRIME!_**"

* * *

Duo was nearing th point of drunkeness were you get moments of clarity.

But the clarity he was getting wasn't the kind he wanted.

"_Dammit it." _he thought angrily to himself, taking a deep drag from his bottle of beer, _"I reeeeeally hate you, you bitch."_

He was currently staring at Akane, who was very close to passing out (she's been drinking since 2), a sleepy smile on her face.

"_Always P.O.ed with everything."_ He mused heatedly, _"Always to the extreme with everything. When she's angry, she's ANNNNNN-GREE. Tch. Th' ass."_

He continued to stare and Akane chose that exact moment to glance up.

Caught.

Incredibly drunk she crawled over to him and rested her head on his thighs, staring up at him.

He gazed down at her, truly annoyed.

"**What?**" he snapped.

"Dyou 'ate me?" she asked, point at herself while maintaining her grip on her bottle of J.D. (Jack Daniels).

Duo cocked his head, not honoring her with a response, but instead giving her a look that clearly said, 'Could you move your head? Please? NOW?'

That was all she needed apparently.

"Thah' sho." She nodded, smiling again, "I figured 's much...oh -hic- well." (remember, wwhen she drinks, her personality 180's)

Her eyelids slid to half mast

"Maybe if you had met me shober, youd've liked me." Akane slurred out drunkenly before passing out.

* * *

"Shit…" Duo growled, running his fingers through his bangs roughly, "Yer c'mpletely cluelessh…s'alright tho'. I don't wanchat' know anywaysh..."

He lifted her off his lap and crawled onto the couch.

"I would fall fer that violent bitch." He grumbled, closing his eyes, "I would fall fer Akane FUCKIN' Kakyoin."

He wondered when and how it happened.

He wasn't exactly sure.

She was loud, foul-mouthed, hard-headed, tactless, so sadistic it should be considered criminal; no redeeming qualities whatsoever that he could see.

Sure she was cute…but that was about it.

Maybe it was the fact he had been away from Hilde so long.

If that was the case, big whoop, he'd be seeing her soon enough.

He mulled this over until he passed out.

* * *

"**_ALRIGHT!_ EVERYBODY _UP!_**"

"**MOVE IT! _MOVE IT!_ MOVE IT!**"

Duo's head throbbed painfully as he fell off the sofa.

Running for the bathroom wasn't an option, so once again, he opted for another, defenseless potted plant.

As soon as he was finished, some grabbed his braid, yanked his head back and forced some heinous tasting fluid down his throat.

A moment later, it was like a veil had been lifted and his hangover was gone…and replaced by four…powerful…pissed off men.

"Alright, get inline, Maxwell!" Kazuo growled, jabbing his index finger at the line up that was almost finished.

"Wh-whuz goin' on?" he asked sleepily.

"**_Get._ In. _LINE!_**" Takaomi snarled, only and inch away from his face (ahhh…so that's where Akane leared that one)

Quickly scrambling to his feet, Duo did exactly as he was told, lining up next to Quatre.

"What's goin' on?" he whispered to the blonde Arab.

Quatre shrugged.

"I don't know." He replied worriedly, "But whatever it is, it must be bad."

"Agreed." Wufei nodded, "They're addressing us all by surnames now, so whomever did what is in trouble."

Heero and Trowa nodded their heads in agreement.

"**SO!**" Mannen barked, stalking back and forth, "Which one of you is it, **_hm?_**"

"Yes." Suo sneered, "**Whose** the dead man?"

The G-Boys shot each other confused looks but maintained their silence.

"We all felt 'The Twinge' last night." Kazuo growled, "So there's no use hiding it."

"Which is it?" Takaomi snarled, "**WHICH ONE A _YOU CHOADS_ LIKES _OUR MONKEY?_**"

Duo let loose a tiny squeak.

Mannen heard him.

He was doomed.

* * *

Or he would've been had it not been for the strange string of lucky events (lucky for him that is) that transpired next.

**_-FWOK-_**

"**OW_SHIT!_**" Kazuo hissed, hands flying to the back of his head.

The object that had collided with his skull spun across the floor, coming to a stop at Trowa's toes.

"A Jack Daniels bottle." He murmured.

And who was drinking J.D. last night?

That's right, Akane, who is currently out for blood at being awakened at five o' clock in the morning on a vacation day.

"**Shut. The _FUCK_. Up.**" she hissed, eyes narrowed into angry slits as she lifted a lamp of an end table, "**_SOME_ of us. Are _TRYING_. To _SLEEP!_**"

She hurled the lamp at Mannen's head and he barely ducked in time.

"Muh-Monkey, juh-just take it easy." Suo stammered (even he's unsure of how to deal with her pissed off and sleep deprived)

"Y-yeah." Takaomi nodded, "W-we f-felt 'Th' Twinge' again and-!"

Akane's glare, if it was possible, grew in ferocity by twenty times.

"**Oh!**" She snarled, grabbing the end table, "**So you're chasin' off _ANOTHER _guy who likes me? THANK YOU _EVER_ SO _MUCH_, BROTHER _DEAREST!_**"

She lobbed the end table and Takaomi's leg didn't get out of the way in time.

* * *

"Ih-it's not w-what you think Monkey!" Mannen cried defensively, "One of **THESE** guys likes you!"

"**_Yeah!_**" Kazuo yelled, still holding his head.

Akane fixated her glare on the G-boys.

Turned around and stalked back into her room for a moment…

…and returned with several shotguns.

"Ask away." She smirked maliciously, "Just make sure who ever it is isn't alive when yer done. Kill'm all fer all I care."

"**Roger!**" Takaomi said, saluting her (ummm…your leg?) as she stalked back into her room.

The G-Boys felt a thrill of fear pass through them as the Freakish Foursome turned back around, firearms in hands.

"Alright…now who-!"

"_**Duo!**_"

A weight crashed into him, sending him flying to the floor.

"H-Hilde?" Duo asked in a muffled voice.

"Duo, I missed you **sooo **much!" she cried, grinning down at him.

"What…how…I mean, what is she doing here?" Wufei stammered.

In the doorway of Suo's room, Sora and Hinode quickly tossed the All-Powerful Remote back onto Suo's king sized bed, tip-toeing back to their own rooms with the Gundam Wing DVD in hand before anyone missed them.

* * *

(A/N: Hilde is here! Just in time apparently. The Gang flies back to Japan. What else can happen?...alot by th' looks of it! R&R!)


	21. The End Or NOT!

(A/N: Hey. Despite the almost total lack of reviews last chappie, I'm pushing forward. So here it is. The last chappie! ENJOY IT!)

* * *

"**_Man!_** That was **too close** for comfort." Sora whispered to Hinode as they crawled back into bed.

"I _**know!**_" Hinode whispered back, "If we had taken any longer-!"

"Ugh! **Stop it, Hino!**" Sora cried, "I don't wanna think about it!"

**_-BANG-_**

"**_HEEP!_**" The Otaku Twins squealed, glomming onto one another.

Something, a very heavy something by the sound of it, had been hurled into the opposing wall, which was apparentlypaper-thin.

"**WOULD YOU TWO _SHUT UP?_**" Akane screamed through the adjascent wall.

"…sorry." They squeaked.

Duo, now in the company of Hilde, found to his relief, that all prior feelings for the gun-toting livewire had vanished.

Hilde, completely oblivious to Duo's inner turmoil, was just stoked to see him again (little does she know she's under the same roof as the person who mugged her; see ch. 4)

He and his recently reunited girlfriend were currently cuddled up on the chair Quatre had crashed on the night before and were currently…koff… reacquainting themselves.

Relena had some how managed to stay asleep through the commotion and was snoring like a log in the closet.

Heero was trying to get back to sleep, but couldn't over her snores...not to mention she was a closet hog.

Quatre had found a particularly comfy section of carpet, curled up into a ball and fell back to sleep within a matter of seconds.

Wufei, had wanted to go outside and train, but the couch had proved too tempting and he was out like a light.

Trowa had managed to make it all the way to his bed before collapsing in a puddle of warm, happy, pilot goo.

* * *

The Freakish Foursome, uable to get back to sleep, were currently eating breakfast and watching "_Ouran High School Host Club_" (hint hint!) on DVD.

"Well we never **DID** find out who liked Monkey." Mannen sighed, chewing on the end of a sausage.

"Doesn't really matter tho'." Takaomi shrugged, "'Th' Twinge' 's gone."

"_-glup-_ yuh." Kazuo said, swallowing a mouthful of omelet, "It disappeared right after Hilde showed up."

"So it musta been Maxwell." Suo shrugged flippantly (doesn't care cuz Duo doesn't like her anymore).

"Ho well." Takaomi said glibly, watching as Suoh Tamaki's face drained of color as he discovered Fujioka Haruhi was a girl, "'s long as he doesn't make a pass at'er, he's still cool."

Somehow Taka, I don't think you have **_ANYTHING_** to worry about.

* * *

_-Later…Back In Japan…-_

"Home sweet home!" Suo declared, dumping his bags in the doorway.

"More like sty sweet sty." Akane snickered, dropping her bags for a servant to attend to later.

The Miyazaki Mansion had a rather stale smell from lack of being lived in for the last four days.

The first thing Sora and Hinode did was dash home and reconnect with their families.

Lots of tears, hugging, sobbing and kissing was involved; we'll leave it at that.

Next, the girls ran back to the Miyazaki Mansion to see the Animanga charas off.

Akane was happier than she had been in a lonnnnng time.

She was grinning from ear to ear, singing, **_"Happy Happy Joy Joy"_** from "_The Ren & Stimpy Show_", to herself.

And why wouldn't she be?

The G-Boys were going home and her life was going to be her own again.

Life was good.

Not to mention, she had gotten her mits on the remote again.

And the minute those freaks passed through the vortex, she was wasting the evil hunk a' junk.

"_You have a date with a bomb, my lil' frien'."_ Akane thought, grin broadening as she continued to sing to herself.

* * *

The G-Boys were happy at the prospect of going home and being in familiar surroundings, but a little depressed that their vacation was over.

**_-SPLORSHH-_**

"**GAH!**" Hilde shrieked as she came up for air, "**NO FAIR_ DUNKING_ DUO!**"

"Since when was **_that_** a rule?" Duo snickered, swimming away quickly before she could exact revenge.

Duo and Hilde were splashing around in the pool like children, enjoying their last hours of vacation.

"Oh, Heero!" Relena cried, "Millardo would like this one!"

"Hm." Heero nodded.

"Hurry it up you two!" Takaomi yelled, "We gotta lot a ground t' cover!"

Heero and Relena were walking around downtown Shinjuku with Takaomi, buying souvenirs.

Ahhh, Shinjuku.

One of Akane's favorite territories.

Takaomi had come close to being in a world of hurt when Akane discovered he had departed without appointing a temporary leader for the temporary leader (Akane appointed Taka to lead the Hell Cats in her place while she was away.) in the middle of a turf war.

Once Akane had cleared up his lapse in memory (by nearly beating him into a coma) Takaomi rang up one of Akane's closest henchmen to take up that post while she was away.

"**Hah!**" Kazuo snarled, stomping down on the flashing panels, "Take that 'n that 'n **_THAT!_**"

"**GO TROWA! _GO!_**" Quatre cheered, pumping his fists uncharacteristically.

"…" Trowa nodded and continued to match pace with the 17 yr. old.

Trowa and Quatre passed their final hours with Kazuo at an arcade in Ikebukuro playing DDR.

Kazuo was determined to beat Suo's high score, or at least reclaim his rightful place at the second place slot that had been taken while he was away.

Trowa and Quatre had gotten into the spirit of things very quickly and were taking turns going up against the blond.

"**Nk!**" Wufei grunted, barely twisting his body aside in time to avoid a punch to his flank and sending a vicious kick to it's instigator.

"**_Rgh!_**" Mannen growled, licking his lips with excitement as he caught the punch in his bare hands.

"**GO WUFEI!**" Sora cried, clapping her hands.

"**_YOU RULE!_**" Hinode whooped, whistling shrilly between her fingers.

Wufei was sparing with Mannen while Sora and Hinode cheered him on.

But he found, to his complete and utter shock, that he was just barely keeping up with the 19 yr. old.

Yes, now you know where Akane learned to fight.

I mean, she hadta learn it somewhere, right?

Mannen and Takaomi were the ones to teach her almost everything (Suo and Kazuo taught her a few "Secret Techniques" to be revealed in the next saga)

Takaomi's profession being what it is (koff-assassin-koff), and Mannen being The International Martial Arts champ three years running, this made the odds of Akane being freakishly strong go up a couple a notches.

Especially since when the four of them get together, they tend to toss Akane around like a football.

They're gender blind when it comes to fighting.

* * *

_-Later…Twelve O'Clock Midnight…-_

Sora and Hinode were sobbing into Quatre shirt front while he awkwardly patted them on the head.

"Th-there, there." Quatre said fretfully, "It'll be okay."

"**WUH-_WE'LL_ MUH-MUH-_MISS_ YOU Q-CHAN!**" Hinode wailed.

"**WUH-WUH-WUH-_WE_ DUN'_ WANCHA_ T' _GOOO_!**" Sora bawled.

"Can we **GO** now?" Wufei snapped, tapping his foot impatiently.

The Chinese teen looked as though he wanted to speed this whole process along (a little irked cuz in the end, he and Mannen tied)

"Yeeeah." Hilde nodded, eyelids drooping as she slumped against Duo.

"We're ready t' go now." Duo mumbled, rubbing his eyes and leaning against Hilde.

Hilde and Duo looked ready for a nap and just wanted to go home.

"…"

Trowa looked indifferent.

"Hn."

Heero was as stone faced as ever.

"I can't wait to see Noin again! Ooo! And Millardo too! And Dorothy!" Relena chattered excitedly.

She was being ever the mosquito and buzzing around in Heero's ear.

* * *

Akane was looking positively crazed with glee as Takaomi and Suo wrenched Sora and Hinode off Quatre's shirt front.

"Say bye-bye girls." Suo said blandly as they continued to bawl into his shirt front.

"**_WAAAAAAAAH!_**" The Otaku Twins sobbed.

You'd have thought he'd enjoy having two girls cling to him, but with a wife and kid (yes he's married; we'll meet them in the next go round!) he wasn't too thrilled at the prospect of having his wife hop on her menstral cycle and run him over.

Laughing maniacally, Akane pushed the button.

"**Bye-bye!**" she cackled, as the screen lit up.

The vortex whipped up around the G-Boys, sucking them up into the screen where they belonged.

Akane promptly dashed outside, tugging one of her handy-dandy homemade bombs (O.o…she planned ahead this time around) from her pocket, duct taped it to the remote and lit it up.

_-sshhhhh-_

She chucked it into the air and hit the dirt.

"**_FIRE IN TH' HOLE!_**" Akane bellowed.

**_-KRAK-KOOOMMMMMM-_**

Bits of remote shrapnel flew everywhere.

Akane looked around at the falling debris, a self-satisfied smirk on her face…that disappeared as she checked her watch.

"**Oop!**"she gasped, "Better hurry! 'm gonna miss Drawn T'gether!"

Sora and Hinode continue to sob into Suo's shirt.

"_Never fear girls."_ Suo thought wickedly, _"After all…I still have the schematics after all."_

...owari?

_

* * *

_

(A/N: YES! A sequel to the sequel! Hope to see you all there! So look out for, **_"I STILL Hate You. Need I Say More?"_** R&R!)


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